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I am so grateful for this strange, pitter-patter heart that always seems to want everything.

I am grateful for my desires – wild, seemingly unbound and violently a-sway. I am grateful for this house – the swell of bugs tickling at my nose. I am grateful for May. I am grateful for May. I am always grateful for May. For the way this day sinks into my flesh like a memory not born yet. I am grateful for my eyes – the splinter cell arrangement of neurons that keep placing themselves like an organ. Like a piano. Like something to play. And be played. I am grateful for this strange, mysterious unfolding. I am grateful for the mystery. I am grateful for silence now, the prospect of being able to reconnect to myself. I am grateful for connection. I am grateful for fire, I am grateful for water. I am grateful to have made it through another year. A year of wild beauty and fresh disaster. A year of heart and a year of mind. Rhythm. Courage.

I wish for more courage. This year. All years. More peace, more reaching out. Reminding myself to reach out. To stay connected. To show up. I wish for more focus, for more rapture. I wish for the search and I wish for the finding. I wish for the keeping – but I do not assume to know yet what it is I should keep. What it is I should let go. I hope I will learn how to let go, when the time comes.

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