And sliding down the 3am streets, the pavement slick with warm rain, the billow of street lights refracting all over the water. River water, puddle water, rain water, canal water, all gleaming yellow-gold with street-light suspension. All heavy with night-black shadow and moon-dribble reflection. All hidden away down River Road, down slippery tree-lined passageway. All hot with May breath and sleep drizzles drumming into the steering wheel. All dreamy with half formed kisses and wide wallowing river groans. Little bridge that teeters, totters, tangles like teeth and tunes itself to tone of tinkling tires. Little bridge carries me from New Jersey to Pennsylvania, slender with slumber slinking into its sides, worn tight with time and tired from too much tinkering. Night carries me home, little white stars blinking in the water, little darknesses creeping into every root. Night carries me home, tucks me into my corner of the world, lets me listen to the wafts of the sky. The world lets me dream beautiful dreams.

And now May curls its toes back, winds me up and lets me wander into the warmth. And now I am trying to remember gratitude every minute of the day. And now I get to wilt about in wonder.

I am amazed at how cynical I’ve become about marriage.

And so much of how I perceive the universe has changed.

But I do stand by mythos. The endless dichotomy between the sacred and the profane. Meaning systems that enliven. I stand by the creative power of the collective consciousness, the collective unconscious, Plato’s cave and the worthwhile quest to get out of it. Ritual. The power of being present.

The problem is in the oversimplification. Generalization. The need for logical, rational, simple answers. The inability to live in the complexities of things, with wide angles and sharp turns and groping, gasping landscapes of meaning. That contained within a single word is a luscious infinity of complexities and meanings that all lay up on each other. We need to abstract ourselves, to live and breathe in a world with less edges.


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