So much to say that I don’t know how to say.
Sometimes I press my heart up against the razor sharp teeth of the sky and I wonder why I’m still standing. Sometimes too many leaves fall at once. Sometimes I’m being too strong for my own good. Sometimes that weight in my musculature to keep my bones up is just oxygen and air. Sometimes I can’t remember where I left myself. Sometimes air is hollow and sometimes air is wide. Always though, always: love is enough.
Today I am just giving myself a break.
Remember to remember those wonderful people holding your hand, telling you you are beautiful and that everything is going to be alright.
Let the dead things go. That’s all I’ve been able to think for the past few days. Let the dead things go. I don’t think I believe in mistakes. There is nothing we’re supposed to be doing. We’re making a life, right, not a fucking crossword puzzle. Not everything fits. Life is messy. That’s good. That’s where the living part comes in. No mistakes here. We all fuck up. We all know so little. We all believe so much. We all have hearts and they are all wildfires burning hot. If you are lucky enough to be brave enough to let yourself burn alive, you get to fucking glow.
“I say: make laws against regret…otherwise you’d have to start with Adam and Eve.”
And forgive. Forgive yourself. That’s the hardest one. Forgive the world. Forgive your fucked up heart. Forgive your bundled up brain. Forgive the other. Forgive all those who have held your heart in their hands and laughed at it. Forgive all those who have lit you on fire, because now you’re burning bright. Forgive yourself. You are only a tiny piece of all that you are.
Break ups are hard. They just are. Even when it needs to happen, even when it has been a long time coming, even when it is the only thing left to do. It’s just hard. To unweave two lives. To come into a new chapter of your life. To form new habits. Piece by piece, it unravels though. You unweave.