The fields were entirely covered in frost this morning. Dripping icicle white with something coming.

I’ve fallen madly in love with all my first grade kids. Their beautiful little faces, their ferocity, their vivacity, their swimming little voices, the way they push and pull and dance and stare with wide eyes. They hurt each other, they hold each other’s hands, they apologize, they compliment one another. The little boys they all race across the field with a mission in their mind and a very important fort to be built. They all look so beautiful, all of them.

They gathered up all the frost on the balance beam into a pile and called it snow.

Yue-Chen grabbed Nathan in the middle of Circle Time and started kissing him over and over again on the face. Then at recess the boys were gathered in a big huddle all discussing this and what it means. “She’s in love with you” “You guys are going to get married”. It was all very serious business. The boys talk very seriously about these things. It’s all unbelievably amusing to watch.

The two male alpha dogs of the class used to be best friends, and now one of them has taken to pushing the other one down to become king. And he’s king. Talking wildly with his Russian accent and making sweet, blonde Reaves cry all the time now. It’s wild. How 6 year olds find their footing into these strange paths that humanity walks. Even now, even so young, even so blindly, without even knowing what they’re doing.

And I still miss you. And I still love you. I recognize you. I get you. I hear you. That’s the best you can say, I think.

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