I know nothing.

I am just a clear ball of wonder just staring at this world.

I don’t really understand what spending money has to do with a relationship. I’ve never understood what going out to dinner, or jewelry, or gifts, or flowers have to do with loving someone. That’s just money. I understand the thought that is involved. But I just can’t stand the idea of people wasting money on me. I don’t know, I’m just the cheapest person ever. It just doesn’t really mean anything.

There is just so much happening right now I can’t really process.

It’s pretty easy to laugh at my 14 year old self. All the things you’re supposed to think and all the things that girls get fed. Girls confuse me, mostly. Being a girl is a confused thing right now. Being a guy is a confused thing right now, too, for that matter. Being humans is sort of bizarre right now.

Being single is pretty bizarre. Nothing feels different at all about being a single mom because I’ve basically been a single mom this entire time. But I don’t really know how to be single in the real world and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of it. I feel like I never learned the rules and half of the time I don’t even think about the way that my behavior comes off.

I don’t know if my entire life has ever been so up in the air. It’s all pretty bizarre.

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