And so if we follow this idea that pain is valid in itself and vital to life…Then therefore – what is there to fear? If we are fearing some negative outcome…this is simply another perfectly valid experience which is creating us in ways and moving us in ways that we are too ignorant to realize, often. Maybe it is opening us or providing us with new challenges, new growths, or new impulses for expression or art. It is always creating us, this path…and we are never wrong. And beyond even JUST finding a silver lining or looking at optimistically, there is actual, real value in a negative experience. And sometimes it is joyous or welcome to experience something different, something that keeps you awake and does not merely get you into a deluded swell of simplistic happiness. Sometimes I get exceedingly bored being just simply happy after a while. So yeah, I stand by this idea that everything is right. That the world is always unfolding as it should. And I think people sometimes find fault in this idea in that it can be construed as overly optimistic or vanilla thinking and I’m actually saying the opposite. I’m saying YES it is right that things got fucked up…not merely just that it’s alright because one day in the future it will be better…I’m saying no, accept it all. And that is the key. The yin AND the yang.

Just the idea that things could be “wrong” in some way doesn’t seem to make logical sense to me if we follow this trajectory. To imply that anything could be “wrong” or a “wrong choice” would imply that there IS some deterministic path to which we are all flowing along and that somehow you have acted against this. I mean THIS seems like more mystical thinking that anything else. I mean what are you even saying when you imply something like that? THAT to me sounds like “going against God”…which also by the way, I’VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD HOW YOU COULD DO THAT. I mean, do you understand what your Christian concept of God would even imply? If there is some omnipresent, omnipotent God that knows and controls everything HOW could you do something against him. It is SO vague with Christians WHAT is done by God and what is not. Something bad in your life God should HELP you with (as if some OTHER force bestowed it upon you) and something good in your life God GAVE to you. The picking and choosing is immense. No…in a coherent picture of this theory…God made you trip, God made you scrape up your hands, God made them sting, AND God healed them with complex biological processes over a period of time. THAT’S how the universe works. Unless you are simply using the word God as a placeholder for all things that are “good” in which case we need to have a conversation about how God is much more abstract than a Man and really we are describing a positive force of the universe for good and for love and for connection. And how when you talk about “Jesus lives in you” you really mean the benevolent forces that are innate within us all that you choose to foster rather than the negative forces which you symbolically call the devil or “against God”. But that is sacrilegious in some way…to have a more profound conversation about syntax and about WHAT is actually being said in the ALLEGORY and stories of the Bible. And to discuss the larger issues and the deeper symbolism we are talking about. And to follow a more intelligent interpretation which doesn’t SHUT all those who thinking logically about this off but allows for some larger, more interesting conversations to take place.

But now I’ve brought myself back to Unitarian Universalism. Stripping out all of the illogical inconsistencies and just focusing on questions, ideas and profound conversation and contemplation about these larger ideas, what they mean and what it means to try to chase love and light and hope and kindness within a human life and within this strange world. Talking about that “Great love of no ending and no beginning” which is much more meaningful to me than the word “Jesus” which I’ve never really been able to connect to. I’ve always wanted people to really articulate what it was they were even saying. I mean, what do you even MEAN that Jesus is with you. I mean…in that statement…WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Are you contemplating what you mean or is just rhetoric that invokes some particular sense within you? If we could have a conversation about the symbolism and the underlying messages of Christianity…I could be on board with that…but I don’t even know if you really know what it is you mean when you say that you are eating the body of Christ. I think it DOES appeal to some poetic sensibility but at the same time that is not something you’re allowed to admit. That Jesus is symbolism. For some deeper effort towards universal love. Well then, can we cut out the confusing jargon that convolutes people and gets people riled up and just talk about universal love? And ACTUALLY mean it? And ACTUALLY love thy neighbor? That would be a good place to start.

————-Sorry I’ve gone off on a tangent———–

But then to say that everything is happening as it should also implies determinism and some sense that the world is just playing out in a reel and we are just watching. Maybe we are. But I like to retain some sense of free will, some sense of interaction and reaction with this universe, some sense of flux. Some sense of response. And that has been made clear in quantum physics. So I can’t say exactly how it’s all happening, nor should I ever claim to…but I do still stand by the fact that nothing could be WRONG. Everything is right, everything is unfolding as it should, on some fundamental level. So what is there to fear?

To say that everything has a reason does not imply that the REASON is some part of “God’s larger plan for your life”…here is another example of where something is innately tied to a certain connotation and thus gets thrown out when it actually could have value in a secular way to a lot of people. It doesn’t need to imply “karma” and it doesn’t need to invoke a particularly Christian idea of what God’s plan for your life might be. It can actually invoke science and logic in a very real way. The laws of physics. Cause and effect, correlation, that every action has an equal but opposite reaction, the swell of nature as I said…that forests must be burned to allow for more healthy growth, that there is this consistent sense of cycles and death and rebirth…that the death of one plant breaks down and provides fertilizer for more healthy plants…that this is just stitched into the very fabric of the natural world in SO many ways. And if we looked at things through that lens…maybe we would have less anxiety, less fear. To really feel that everything is unfolding as it should, that everything is happening for a reason. Clearing, opening, preparing, giving, enriching, complicating, fertilizing the soil for stronger growth. I trust the wisdom of the Native Americans. I’m sure they were far more wise than we ever could be. We may have gadgets, but they had magic. And I wish we could meet somewhere in the middle. Acknowledge the benefits of what we have discovered and also dig up those ancient and timeless principles that humans subsisted on for eons. Those primal connections to the world around us that we have forgotten…and that seem to have left us stilted and deranged in so many ways.

I’ve also rejected this idea that you can’t pick and choose theories. Take a little bit of this one and reject that…allow two conflicting things to sit on each other and allow hypocrisies to inform one another. Well why the fuck not? I think we are not coming to any real substance in what we all talk about because we’re focusing too much on linear thinking and not allowing for that why the fuck not into the conversation. And we keep getting stuck on rational materialism and I think it is valid but it only casts light on one tiny piece of the great darkness we are standing in front of. And while I think it is dangerous to cast rationalism out completely, I think we have to begin to incorporate what lies just beyond logic into our conversations or we will run ourselves into the ground being robots popping prozac and praising only the ends of our noses in front of us.

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