Still pushing, still watching, still hoping, still listening to him grow. Still amazed at the prospect of growth, birth and rebirth. Still amazed and still in faith.

And yes, this is just about all I need. The spring air, the hot phosphorous stream of sunset into my eyes…and the silent reminder that I am here. That this is now. This is present and my dog is right there waiting for me. and I’ll say my dog now. I’ll say our house now. Because we are living a life together now. And that is a holy thing. And that is a blessed thing. And we are bringing another life into this world and I have no fear.  Just love and bliss and light. Just love and bliss and light.

And here is to the night, to the open wounds of the earth which grow. To the long sparkled sunglasses of the sky which shatter sounds of spring into the songbirds mouth. Here’s the warbled cry of golden love and here’s to the long lost stretches of imagination that reach from here to there- from light to light and back to love. Here’s to those things and here’s to these things- the sad, soft, silent heart which beats and bumbles in turns and tumbles…which grasps and graces and hovers and hunkers. Here’s to all emotions tucked inside the trunks of trees and here’s to soul which slides away in the synapses of the soil. Here’s to these things and there’s to those things and this is to the thousands of thuses just waiting to be that. Now.

30 weeks

Being pregnant has been wonderful and harsh and difficult and amazing and entirely life-changing. It has been deep and rich and sickening and thick with joy. I have hated it and loved it and been unbearably grateful for it. I am going to give birth in roughly 2 months and that is pretty mind blowing to me. Amazing and wonderful and I am no longer allowing any fear to seep into my bones. I feel no fear and I feel no doubt. There is nothing to prepare for anymore because faith and breath and love with carry us. I am at peace with it. I am in love.