Let it be the highlight of your life

I know exactly how I feel about this baby. I know exactly what I need to do in my life. I feel clear, content and peaceful. 

I have to stop worrying about the things I can’t control in the life of this baby and just trust. Just trust that God and the universe and the great Mother will do will be right. Because it is. Because it will be. Nothing will be out of place because it can’t be out of place.

My job is to pay attention. To be aware. To give and to give and to give until I believe that I can’t give anymore…and then push through to a whole other realm of giving. My job is to love. To love fearlessly and unconditionally and without manipulation. My job is to be honest with him, to be clear with him, to be calm with him, to be passion and fire and fun with him. My job is to teach and my job is to learn and my job is to do nothing but watch. My job is to keep adjusting, keep adapting, keep evolving. 

I will make mistake and mistake and mistake and I will recover and learn and relearn. I will not be afraid to fall down in festering tears and weary whimpering weakness and I will not delude myself to ever think that I cannot do this. I absolutely can do this. Absolutely. Beyond a shadow of a doubt. This is my path now and I am not walking down a dead end path. There is no fear in me. 

It’s ok if things change. It’s ok if I’m not in the same place as others around me. It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok. Life comes in waves and in spurts and in shadows and in songs. We may meet each other again one day. But for now…I have who I need in my life. I have support and love in all sizes and shapes and ages and forms. That is all I need. 

And I believe. To the core of my being…that this is absolutely right. Absolutely the right time, the right place, the right moment, the right baby. And I believe…with absolute uncertainty…that I will love it. That all women are mothers within us and that it is a horrible thing that society has even driven away from this primal connection. I believe that with all the exhaustion and horror and pain and confusion…it will be the most holy, rewarding, blessed, beautiful and primordial experience of my life. This is what I was made to do. I feel this in my core. I know this is for me. This is what I should be doing. This is it.

This is it.

18 Weeks Pregnant

“Women…are storytellers. They are nurturers…filled with creative forces when they are fertile, pregnant or birthing. Millions of years of biology are on their side to ‘bring forth.’ Nothing can stop the power behind that force, not even the woman herself…She is the living essence of the future. She is a holy woman and there is intelligence at work in her. It is sacred energy.” –Sister MorningStar


“When enough women realize that birth is a time of great opportunity to get in touch with their true power, and when they are willing to assume responsibility for this, we will reclaim the power of birth and help move technology where it belongs–in the service of birthing women, not their master.” –Christiane Northrup


“Before I had children I always wondered whether their births would be, for me, like the ultimate in gym class failures. And I discovered instead…that I’d finally found my sport.” –Joyce Maynard


“Our body-wisdom knows how to birth a baby. What is required of the woman who births naturally is for her to surrender to this body-wisdom. You can’t think your way through a birth, and you can’t fake it.” –Leslie McIntyre


“Birth is an opportunity to transcend. To rise above what we are accustomed to, reach deeper inside ourselves than we are familiar with, and to see not only what we are truly made of, but the strength we can access in and through Birth.” –Marcie Macari


“So the question remains. Is childbirth painful? Yes. It can be, along with a thousand amazing sensations for which we have yet to find adequate language. Every Birth is different, and every woman’s experience and telling of her story will be unique.” –Marcie Macari


“The instant of birth is exquisite. Pain and joy are one at this moment. Ever after, the dim recollection is so sweet that we speak to our children with a gratitude they never understand.” ~ Madline Tiger


“…celebrate ourselves for our courage to birth. The real question becomes not, ‘Have you done your breathing exercises?’ but rather, ‘Can you love yourself no matter how you birth, where you birth, or what the outcome?’” –Claudia Panuthos


“VITA MUTARI – the literal translation from Latin to English is ‘Life Transformation.’ That is the closest thing I could think of the feeling of labor/birth…what you are feeling isn’t pain, it’s life transformation. Is it dramatic? You bet! I think it should be!” –Stephanie Soderblom


“Until women themselves value and honor mothering in all its forms, there is little chance that the cultural paradigms will change…Many women with children have come to respect the art of mothering, but still need to advocate for its value when faced with external expectations and pressures to feel professional success.”–Tami Lynn Kent


“…birth is the pinnacle where women discover the courage to become mothers…” –Anita Diamant


“There is power that comes to women when they give birth. They don’t ask for it, it simply invades them. Accumulates like clouds on the horizon and passes through, carrying the child with it.” – Sheryl Feldman


“The knowledge about how to give birth is born within every woman: women do not need to be taught how to give birth but rather to have more trust and faith in their own body knowledge.” –BirthWorks


“Birth matters. It brings us into being, on many levels.” –Ananda Lowe


“Babies are bits of star-dust blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth for she has held a star.” –Larry Barretto


“…to give birth with power, without drugs, means having to go to the edge, and beyond…the hospital ‘battle field,’ in striving to be sterile and clean, inadvertently sends a confusing message to women giving birth. Birth-warriors don’t stay clean, made-up, and poised…” –Pam England


“When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.” — Nancy Friday


“For each of us as women, there is a deep place within, where hidden and growing our true spirit rises…Within these deep places, each one holds an incredible reserve of creativity and power, of unexamined and unrecorded emotion and feeling. The woman’s place of power within each of us…it is dark, it is ancient, and it is deep.” –Audre Lorde


“…what is normal today is not the same as what is healthy.” –Barbara Patterson & Pamela Bradley


“Giving birth is a transformation and it doesn’t matter whether you’ve had eight babies before. It’s still a transformation the next time you have another baby, because you are no longer the same woman you were before you had that baby.” –Penny Handford


“The major role that the body’s natural oxytocin plays in birth encourages the idea that birth is an experience of love…birth is a spiritual experience simply because it is largely an act of love on the part of the body physiology and the indwelling spirit.” –Cathy Daub



“We need nothing less than a revolution in our attitudes towards conception, pregnancy, birth and parenting.” –Sophie Style