I think about you i do. more than i should. more than i know how to make sense of. you dream me into existence, i hold on to your breath with every silent crunch within my skin. we existed in a moment of a dissolving dissonance between sentances. we existed on no place in every plane in a surreal section of the galaxy. on a dying star. in the fraction of a moment between your heart and mine. a fragile, formless bird cawing wildly into the winter sun. collapsing, collapsing. we were always bundled in our winter jackets. we were always walking, standing still or sitting. we were always lying down, lying, lying. you always had wooden teeth, a crooked smile and one perfect top hat tilted to the side. i swore you must have carried a cane. i remember nothing but a romantic revelation rehearsed and refracted in my mind. i remember. i remember after all this time. i remember and i feel that well of fuzzy white tears billowing up between my eyes. i remember and i cringe, creak and cradle myself…and yet i can’t find you. i can find no you huddled in the mass of stars that is this world. i cannot find you when i look between all my swollen joints, my sallowing skin, my burned out edges. you hide. i call. find me. again, one last, forever. time.