and awake so deeply awake

and aware so unbearably aware

and alive so innately alive

and this is my task. and this is my goal. to experience the vast depth and heights of human experience. everything. everything. through every possible route and path i can achieve. i must give up my strange concept that i could ever attain any sort of purity in this world. this world  is polluted. my life and body have already been polluted. so i will do the best i can with the world i have been born into. i will follow my impulses, not punish my urges…LISTEN to my body and my desires and follow. and trust. and open. and forgive what i wish could be better in me in the awareness that EVERYTHING is right. EVERYTHING is leading down this mysterious path that is CONSTANTLY opening. taking me somewhere i can never know. through everything. everything i am and will be. everything i meet and greet and hear. through this gentle, violent journey towards discovering the full capacity of my humanity. of my instrument as this form in this body. through stretching the absolute heights of my own ability to be alive. through the fullness of my senses, the depth of my generosity, the commitment of my intentions, the experimentation and discovery of my own faiths and experiences. to travel, to see, to taste, to feel, to experience, to break apart, to stretch, to touch, to illuminate. this is my life’s work. nothing else. all else is PART of the path. the conditions to lead me. my career, my work- all of that is secondary- simply leading me to whatever experiences it is i need to have to become, to discover, to grow into the ever unfolding me that i always am. forgive yourself. you are only a human for a short time, in this form, this body, this life, this name…for whatever reason. give THIS existence all it can be given. care for this person that you have been born into as if they are your child. this is your existence.

it’s the contradiction of life. that’s the only thing that makes sense.

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