Perfect love and whispered sighs. I have been given the most incredible gift and that is to exist in this world of beauty, lichens, and breathing trees. Woven art through dried up grasses and mosses that clinb to me and cling to fallen branches of ancient warriors.
I can feel my ancestors and I am sure I am not of this world. This human world. I am more wind than matter.
It is not that the Gods have left us…or perhaps even that they are asleep…they are here. They are right here…in every stream and each tree…we have just lost our senses. We have forgotten how to see and hear…we have closed our minds and left our hearts behind.
There are times when everything seems like an illusion- like some projections of my mind. And when I walk through a city I feel this constructed truths and when I walk through the organic membrane of a forest it is as if I have finally stepped into my own truth. The constructions and plays are beautiful in their own art, but nothing could ever replace a forest. Nothing will ever be higher or greater than mother earth herself and her perfect place in this universe. And I am just a part of this living organism.
The piece that I can’t figure out is why we would ever be given such a gift. What do we give back to the earth? And it seems to me as if the earth can take care of itself…so why were we given this gift?
The earth itself shows all the perfect qualities of every God described. No matter how much we destroy it or somehow “sin” against it…it still holds us…it still grows nourishment for us…it still provides us water and nutrients…it still brings rain and sun and beauty. It shows us perfect love and perfect forgiveness. And it is infinite and all knowing it its wisdom. It is full of energy and never depletes. The parallels between nature and our concept of “God” seem so apparent to me.
And yet I must claim nothing. I own nothing. I am small and I am infinite and I am more grateful than I have ever been in my life to be alive.
I give thanks. Wholly and fully. I give thanks for my family. For the infinite love that showers from all directions. I am thankful for my wisdom and for my nievities. I am thankful for my feeble voice and for my outstretched heart. I am thankful for my desperate whims and my peaceful resignation. I am thankful for the bountiful food that graces my firey mouth. I am thankful to look into the eyes of my mother and see her perfect love and to have the eyes of my father but the strength to live without him. I am thankful to hear the voices of my brothers like some distant dream from someone else’s childhood. I am thankful for my blessed health that somehow lets me dance and sing and hike and bike and run. I am thankful for my whole dirty existence.
I just want to sit and watch you all move and speak. You all hold pieces of myself. We are all malleable.