I’m sitting on my balcony. Casey is inside cleaning up our beautiful apartment. The leaves are on fire…and there is holy water trickling beneath my feet. The sun is setting and today I went to work and even in the smallest, tiniest way…fought for this earth and that is THE most meaningful thing I can do. I have never been more happy and settled in a place. And even the train’s sound in the distance reminds me that there is such great love bouncing in this place. Your memory is sweet in my mind again. I feel mature. Part of me aches to begin my real life…to fully devote myself to caring for the earth…but for now I have this time to find some balance and I will welcome it. Today I stopped trying to create…trying to force and I just sat in a dream world and absorbed the falling November sun. And my life is bigger than words, my tastes are wilder than ever and my being is neither in my body nor out of it. There are no categories for this love. I need wild love. I need someone with a wild heart to ever be able to find me buried and swathed in all this magic. 

Everything seems to be an illusion. And we all share this sound. And this dream. 

Everything is poetry now. And I am billowing out within its soft edges. It blurs and binds and in the morning, finds me always somehow awake. The stars are a message in themselves.

Maybe one day we’ll find reality. All of us will wake up to see the world finally and truly. And our hearts will fall out of our chests and seep out into the streets. The sidewalks will be paved with love.

 

“And I believed, which may very well be the supreme form of knowing. I believed in everything, but most of all in the inherent grace of the unknown and unrevealed potential at the heart of everything and everybody.”

 

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, I’ve looked at clouds that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall.
I really don’t know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; I’ve looked at love that way.
But now it’s just another show. you leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know, don’t give yourself away.

I’ve looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions i recall.
I really don’t know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say “I love you” right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I’ve looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I’ve changed.
Well something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day.

I’ve looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions i recall.
I really don’t know life at all.

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