“If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.” 

Ohhhh glory of life. Of nature. No matter what happens…no matter what I gather…I must always remember to bring it home. Bring it back to the earth. Because somehow…the earth knows EVERYTHING. There is a wisdom and a strength and a peace and a love that is SO far beyond ANYTHING I could ever create myself. Any of us. Somehow find that balance between being human and being nature and learn to breathe with it. I know nothing. 

And sometimes we have to let it die. Rip out what is invasive and let it die. There are things about the earth and how to take care of it that I cannot understand if I cannot understand and accept decay and death. We are so afraid of it but it is SO viscerally and beautifully connected to everything. Let it die. Let it come out. Rip out the weeds at the seams and let it be real, let it live…and then let it die. It’s a great purging I’m working on these days and it is more rewarding…in giving, in letting go and releasing than any sense of “gathering” or “becoming” can ever do. Because all things are transitory…and accepting that and moving with it rather than trying to desperately hold on to the flashes of self-imposed “awakenings”…we are all flowing and perhaps we are more real in our mortality and destruction than in anything else. I feel more connected to Adam now than ever before. We can only know loss, in some ways. Let’s fucking break. Break it all and see what grows. 

It’s awareness I’m searching for now. Awareness and the strength and trust to let go. 


Well, let it pass, he thought; April is over, April is over. 
There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice
– F. Scott Fitzgerald


A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.
–Chinese Proverb


Old friends pass away, new friends appear. 
It is just like the days. 
An old day passes, a new day arrives. 
The important thing is to make it meaningful: 
a meaningful friend – or a meaningful day.
 – Dalai Lama


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