I’m starting to realize that all I really want from life right now is for him to look at me that way. He did for the first time in so long Saturday morning…and I felt whole.

Good weekend…wonderful fight choreography rehearsal…then to drink with 3WK and Lefki’s friend and Bekah’s friend…which was nice…a good night with drunken Micheal’s…then slept in saturday morning and felt the closest to Peter I have all year…it was beautiful…then we went to the mall…shopped around…then went to Whip It…Dmitriy met us and then the pressure to make the night fun for dmitriy sort of killed the night…we sort of sat around anticlimactically…made me feel bad that he came all this way for a pretty lame night…and since then peter stopped looking at me that way…made me sleep in nikko’s bed…then today we went to gamestop and papa john’s which was good…but my acne is so severe that i just feel miserable all the time…then i suddenly felt incredibly sad and sick…but rehearsal made me feel better….then mola and then the chat with the ladies……sigh. im so………..full of things

I need to start hanging out with different groups of people…it gets stagnant…


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