Everything I think I know about love and living love has been constantly under seige this summer. It has been the most eye opening season of revelation and I hope to hang on to this rushing current that’s slicing canyons in my long held ideals. God works in mysterious ways. Love is deeper and stronger and wider than I ever imagined.

And this has been one of those magical summers. Summer of independance. Summer of heartache and of revelation. Summer of Rumi. Of travel. Of Kristey King. Degrassi. Marijuana. Spiritual exploration. Of yogurt and soy milk. Of Doug. And mom. And Kiala. And Dmitriy. And spontaneous trips to Canada. And Micheal Jackson. Taylor Swift. The Climb. My first SLR. Ohio starlight. California sun. Northern New York waterfalls. Harry Potter premiere parties on the roof of the Museum of Natural History. LBI waves. Harrisburg love. New Haven fireworks. Montreal beauty. Mia’s baby. The summer I watched all of the Godfather for the first time. And every minute of So You Think You Can Dance. Summer of crazy kids jumping out windows and setting the house on fire. The summer I got my license. A beautiful summer spent in the suns rays…in the pool water…on the open road…and in the presence of much love.

Love. Love is all you need. So much has changed…and so much will never change. Should never. Love. That’s forever.

To a summer of love. And a year of hope. New beginnings. Second chances. Freedom. And love.

Always love.

29

I feel you all around me Kristey. Every day. Every moment. You surround me…in the clouds and in the sun…I always hear you laughing…and I always see you as an angel guarding us all in a way that we could not. You are love Bella. I will always love you…and I will always be grateful to you for waking us all up. It almost seems like…you were sent here to be an angel…to shatter our lives…to break us all down so we could all see the truth…wake us all up from our misery and see the beauty and the love everywhere…to feel alive with every breath…to live as you lived…simply, beautifully…and with every inch of your soul. I’m not afraid…and I no longer cry…because I know you are EVERYWHERE. You were beyond this life…your fire was brighter and your love was deeper…you belong in the sea and the sky…and that’s where you’ll be forever…young, beautiful, free….and so alive.


“Instead of taking life for granted

you’ll feel lucky to be alive,

good how you’ll feel inside


And from now on we’re taking big strides.”

On Saturday morning I awoke to find my world had changed over night. The beautiful soul of Kristey King had disappeared in a heartbeat. I can’t fathom it…I can’t wrap my head around it…I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t make any sense of it. I’m so angry at God. I’m so overwhelmed. I can’t stop crying.

She was SO beautiful and SO wonderful and so full of life. Every memory I have of her she is SO alive…I just can’t imagine her any other way. And the worst part is I keep imagining her beautiful body mangled in that car…I can’t get this image out of my mind…and the horror and fear she must have felt in that collision is haunting me. Haunting.