My stomach is in knots every time she calls. Every time I hear her name. See her face. I know its not okay…deep in my gut I know it’s not okay but I let it slide. And I feel good until she creeps back up. She always creeps up…she’s always there. Or I don’t let it slide and I lose him. What’s better? Giving him up or letting the pain seep through the creases. I shouldn’t even be mad at her…it’s not even her fault. It’s his fault. It’s so his fault. And I won’t let myself accept the truth of the reality because I want so badly for him to be who I want him to be. Is that so bad? What am I supposed to do?
Fuck him. Fuck Grace. Fuck them. I can’t stand this.
What kind of a fucked up position have you put me in Peter? And how do you expect me to respond?
It’s a dead end.
I don’t understand how I’m supposed to let go of this feeling. I never thought I was a jealous person but I am so jealous all the time.
I hate him for doing this to me.