I really miss writing here. It just feels like time has collapsed in on itself.
I love college. I love Peter. I love where I am. I’m happy.
But the truth is…I’m more bored than I can ever remember.
I feel stifled.
What I really want to do is art. I want to live and breathe it. Inhabit it. And its really all I want. I want a fresh canvas in front of me and paint dried under my fingernails. I want to take photographs. I want rehearsal. I want stage lights. The Knight Club performance last night reminded me that it is oxygen to me. It’s intoxicating. It’s everything to me. I am an artist and I thrive on art. Not in any noble, pretentious or theoretical way. In an incredibly real, tangible way. I want to create. I need to feel alive.
I need art.
Maybe that’s a blessing. To truly, wholly know not just what you want to do for the rest of your life…but what you need.
This is what I needed. A desert. To remind me why.
I make a vow…right here and now. I’m gonna spend my time this way.