I really miss writing here. It just feels like time has collapsed in on itself.

I love college. I love Peter. I love where I am. I’m happy.

But the truth is…I’m more bored than I can ever remember.

I feel stifled.

What I really want to do is art. I want to live and breathe it. Inhabit it. And its really all I want. I want a fresh canvas in front of me and paint dried under my fingernails. I want to take photographs. I want rehearsal. I want stage lights. The Knight Club performance last night reminded me that it is oxygen to me. It’s intoxicating. It’s everything to me. I am an artist and I thrive on art. Not in any noble, pretentious or theoretical way. In an incredibly real, tangible way. I want to create. I need to feel alive.  

I need art.

Maybe that’s a blessing. To truly, wholly know not just what you want to do for the rest of your life…but what you need.

This is what I needed. A desert. To remind me why.

I make a vow…right here and now. I’m gonna spend my time this way.

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