It’s insane. Life is absolutely insane. This month is just flying through my fingertips and I’m trying to hold on to anything and everything.
Acting is a profession of humanity. A expert of humanity. Both concious and subconcious. And all of this theoretical talk makes me wonder even more as to the objective nature of reality. i think I’m beginning to understand that reality is always subjective. And the word organic. What a concept. We fight and struggle to find the very essence of life in an honest way. The concept of acting is absolutely fascinating. Completely mind boggling. And while I can’t seem to process all of the information that has been thrown at me these past few weeks…something in my soul is absorbing…something. Something has changed. And i suppose that’s how real change happens. It is not as…miraculous as you may thing. And yet, acting is innately spiritual, mystical and abstract.
I want to just write and write forever but the words seem to be logged in my throat or stuck to my brain cells.
And i feel like i should feel a certain way that i don’t. I’m so happy here…I know that. I miss home. I want to be home. I would never trade this experience for anything. I wish we were in the woods instead of at a campus. I miss Conor with a dull pain in my stomach. I love these people. I’m completely absorbed in this world. And yet I look forward to August. i suppose…all in all…it’s a beautiful feeling. And it is what it is and i think I’m learning to be honest. That’s what all of this is about right? Learning to let go. To be honest. Organic.
Acting through faith.
It’s about faith.