I really am going to write in full when I have the time…but for now…I don’t…so now I’ll just make a skeleton.
Saturday…Matinee show…pleasing…running around, me and bobby being adorable and fierce…i don’t remember much else…then in between the WHOLE cast went to WaWa and then had a kick ass dance party in the wawa parking lot. then we came back to hun and had an even BETTER dance party outside. it was like gspell all over again. absolutely amazing. then we all sat and ate together. then got ready for the evening show. evening show was kick ass. some hardcore ass kicking. i was really feelin it. and we all went around and said what our favorite thing was and our favorite thing other people did was. sigh. then i broke jeremy’s camera and like cried. and then i fixed it and like seriously had an orgasm with happiness. so the show was amazing. richie came and i screamed and loved him. and then MS FUCKING OHM WAS THERE. we all figured it our by a few minutes in becasue we heard her laugh and we all FREAKED out. katie and i watched the show together from the wings like the good old days. then after the show bobby drove us to lucy’s house…and we all spent a couple hours basking in ms ohm’s glory. seriously. i was SOoo incredibly happy to see her. it was actually unreal. i mean seriously unreal. she was sitting right there in front of us as if she had never left. and i remembered exactly why she is SO amazing. she hadn’t changed at all either. the same old ohmy. and i felt like a sudden burst of clear thought. like i had been living in darkness since she left and here was light. it was absolutely incredible. THEN we had to drive her home so like 8 of us all piled illegally into lucy’s car…me in the trunk, lucy, ms ohm, katie sitting ONTOP of ms ohm in the front seat, and then mia, kiala, elisa and savvy in the back seat. it was actually the best car ride of my entire life. at midnight driving with my favorite people in the world with MS OHM. and we all just listneed to ms ohm talk and basked in the few incredible moments we had with her. then we all had to say goodbye and it was absolutely heartbreaking. we all hugged her goodbye one by one and then drove back to lucy’s. it really was an incredible experience. serioously that carride was so amazing. sigh sigh.
then…the rest of the night…wow…………………hah. what to say what to say. it was amazing.
ummmmmm i’m gonna finish this tomorrow…
ok so. we got there at like 1 and got in and most everyone had left (there was like EVERYONE in her house) except the boys and such and bobby was dead asleep and i believe we watched the prestige. and then after a while all of the sudden bobby just POPS out of his sleep and he goes “WHERE AM I? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?” hahaha and waas like freaking out and was like WHY AM I NOT HOME? and was sooo confused and we’re like bobby you’re not going home you ahve to stay here because it’s like 2 and you can’t drive home in this condition. hahah. so we like forced bobby to stay. and then slowly bobby regained conciousness but that was basically the funniest moment ever.
then after that we all sat on those couches chilling and watching tv as if there was no time in the world. it was me, bobby, lucy, katie, kiala, whitt, joe, savvy, mia, conor, elisa and logan….basically my favorite people in the world to spend the night with. we watched like every random movie on tv there could be…then slowly but surely we all got coupled off…joe and savvy…conor and mia…kiala and whitt…then lucy and katie went upstairs to sleep and elisa and logan and me and bobby were the only ones left. mmm. the night was so pleasing though. i have really no recollection of what we did from 2 in the morning to 5…watched KINKY KONG. and Tasty Girls 5 and then CHUKWALLA and then “Mexico is SOOO hot. They’re always so dirty and grimy.”-Elisa. “You know why mexicans are so short? Because heat rises.”-Elisa. Hhahaah….so much fun. i was really out of it and slap happy. hah. it was so worth it though. i also remember rolling on a ball like a mad woman.
then i slept from like 7 to 8…and then i couldn’t sleep from 8 to 9 because i was so cold and felt awkward looking at bobby and so i just sort of stared at the wall until everyone else woke up. that morning was absolutely divine. i mean really…just all of my favorite people sort of lazily sitting around…one last show to look forward to…and feeling as if time didn’t exist. as if we could jus sit there on those couches together and never be expected to go anywhere else. never leave each other. i remember at one point we all decided we wanted to run away together and go live in the woods. sigh. it was like a dream. however, quite QUITE awkward between me and bobby. ummm yeah. AWKWARD is the perfect word. but still fine. we sort of sat around watching stuff…lying on each other…not wanting to ever move…unable to believe we still had to perform that day…then me and logan and mia and bobby went to wawa at like 9…wooo. i got hash browns and was pleased. we listened to this is halloween in the car and i was very satisfied. great wa run. then we came back…ate together…then i guess we got ready to go back to hun…i really really never wanted to leave though. sigh. i think bobby drove me back to hun. sigh. what a night.
into another amazing day.
Sunday. last show. it didn’t really sink in for a little bit…i was too exhausted, out of it and awkward to really realize. we all sort of sat around for a while..unable to grasp that it would be the last time together…then got ready for the very last time. sigh. things between me and bobby were uber awkward and my head was reeling but i tried my hardest to focus on the task at hand. when we all got finished getting ready we did our final final squeeze…and bogie did it with us…i think i cried a little but not much. it was sad though. then i got to do it for a last time. which really was a blessing. i had ALL my nerves and excitement out…i had already had the 4 best shows of my life and it already felt over to me…so to get to do it one last time just focusing on that was really a great blessing. and actually one of the best times…just becuase of that. i had no regrets left. nothing left but pure emotion. my one final push through. i wasn’t really sure if i was going to make it through because the show is so phyiscally demanding and i had NO energy left. but somehow i did it. i did Opening for a Princess for the very last time and really felt the full impact of the entire experience on me and I really just put my whole heart into it. I did Normandy into the salazar scene into Spanish Panic into Fred for the last time and fucking loved it. Fucking lived it. Was about to collapse…but it was SO worth it. I used every last muscle and every shred of energy in Fred. then last intermission…then we did the second act for the last time…i saw elisa sing that beautiful song one last time…did very soft shoes for the last time…which almost made me tear up but we nailed it…and man to man talk…i was so proud of bobby…joe’s voice was SO awful becasue he was so sick i felt sooo bad for him. then we came on one last time to do that finale one more time…it was such an incredible experience…nothing to lose…doing it all for the very last time. horribly horribly sad. but incredible. hit that final note and there. that was it. once upon a mattress. sigh. then the last curtain call…i started crying once i saw jen bow and realized all we’d been through together and how this was the last time i’d ever see her bow in a musical…it’s a beautiful feeling to cry on stage during curtain call. sigh. so sad. so beautiful. we got our final standing ovation that just made me cry even more. then we walked off stage…i took one last glance and then it was gone.
and then it was over. and then i just kept crying and crying…but it was a really beautiful silent crying. the dressing room was dead silent…we all silently took our sotumes off for the very last time and hung them up…sniffling and tearing and unable to get a word out. it was a really incredibly beautiful moment but also intensely painful. it seeemed entirely unable to be put into words. so we just didn’t talk…didnt say a word…and slowly put our things away. then me and christina really started crying…and hugging kiala and savvy and telling them how much we’re going to miss them and then we were really crying. it seemed too real. all of the sudden it was over and these beautiful people were going to leave me. i just couldn’t stop crying. i hate closing shows. then we all went out to the lobby for the last time…said hello to people for the last time…but only for like 2 minutes becuase then Bogie called us back in to do strike.
Strike is such a bizarre experience. The next 3 hours or so were so hard to describe. Horribly horribly sad. Almost so that you can’t even really grasp it. You’re so immensely exhausted from the weekend…in shock that it’s all over and unable to really move as they slowly but surely destroy everything you’ve held dear for the past two months. Deconstructing the set…beating at it with sledgehammers…screwdrivers…all these noises compiling on you and everything going by far too fast. It is suddenly incredibly over. And now what we all created together…we all destroy together. What we spent 2 and a half months tirelessly putting together…we destroy in 2 hours. Typically I’m beyond tears and sort of am trying to absorb the last final final moments we have altogether as a cast. But Bobby really didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. It took him a while to start crying…but once strike started…I think the fact that it was all over really got to him…and he just cried and cried and cried. I’m not even joking. I’ve never seen anyone cry that much at the end of a show…ESPECIALLY not a guy. It basically made me melt. HOrribly sad. But I can understand…I mean if the ONLY time I did it was my senior year and it was the only time i would ever be able to do it and i loved it as much as I do and I know he does…well it would feel awful. He sort sat on a chair in the wings alone crying through all of strike…all of us trying to cheer him up but not really sure how to. i wasn’t sure what to do especially with our relationship being so weird at the time so i just sort of let him be. every once and a while I would start crying again but for the most part I was okay. Just sort of stood there motionless watching then tear apart that lovely set. boy it was a long 2 months. sigh. strike really is incredibly sad. just a bizarre experience. your emotions seemed to have reached their end. nothing really exists. but it was the very last time the cast would be together so i sort of tried to absorb it all for it was. carting everything out…putting away all the costumes…holding back tears…and then eventually bogie put on music and it became fun. a dance party. the last one we would have. and we all forgot about all the sadness and just danced and laughed and sang together for the last time. bobby was really sad though so he didnt do anything. it was actually really sad. but other than him i had a swell time actually. i love theatre kid dance parties. they rock hardcore. then it was snowing and we danced around in the snow. sigh. there’s alot of love in my heart for each and everyone of those people. as well as this show. as much as you wouldn’t expect it…it was a complete blast, from beginng to end. really. a long long journey. but so worth it. each and every moment. one of the best musical experiences. it’s so incredibly sad that it must end. sigh. then we put on godspell and sang out lungs out. by now it was like 6 so alot of people had left and it mostly just the theatre kids…and we sang godspell with all of our heart. and then they put on all for the best and everyone knew ALL of the choreography so we performed the whole thing. it was adorable. we never stop. and perhaps, it is “all for the best.” sigh. i guess that’s all we have. memories. songs. and catch phrases. that attempt to make us feel better about the fact that beautiful portions of our lives are always taken away from us before we’re ready. sigh. bobby sat and watched as we all sang godspell. it was sad in some ways. then i put on rent and we listened to seasons of love and all sang it together and i really wanted to cry and just hold everyone close for all of eternity. then la vie boheme and then we we just about to listen to finale b which would have PERFECT to end on but bogie cut it off. and that was it. we were done. suddenly the set was gone. i was sort of amazed. i had been in a daze and when i opened my eyes i was standing on a bare stage. incredibly sad.
it’s a very bizarre feeling…watching everything around you collapse. i mean quite literally watching all the walls around you be ripped apart and destroyed…and then at the end being left exactly where you started…standing in the middle of the stage…with all of your cast…one final moment in front of the ghost light. just like we started. we end in front of the ghostlight. it adds conclusion. but also terrible heartache. it seems if you could only close your eyes hard enough you wouold be back there at the very first ghostlight and you could do it all over again. but then you realize you’re crying and that this is the last ghostlight you will ever light for this show. with these people. ever again. boy it was a fun two months. so once again…we all held the ghostlight all together…bobby made some sad speech about how much he loved us and how hard this was to walk away from…we all told each other how much we loved each other…we all cried together for one moment…all for one, final, brief moment united eternally by this ghostlight that had each and everyone of our energies coursing through it…and with one swift motion…the lightbulb illuminated…we all stood frozen, staring at it, the entire two months of laughter and tears flashed by our eyes…and it was over. finally. that was the final moment. and now once upon a mattress was finally over. i know i will always remember that moment forever. slowly and timelessly we let go of the ghostlight and in that one moment…it was over. goodbye. to an incredible experience. incredibly beautiful moment. and all that was left of us, our characters, our work, this show, this energy, these memories, these moments…was capsulized in one small lightbulb glowing faintly in the center of the stage…we all looked at it one last time and then walked away. once upon a mattress floating on stage in one orb of light. in the darkness…the ghostlight the only thing remaining. and we are through. that’s it. it’s over. horribly sad. but true. and it remains FOREVER. eternally captured inside that lightbulb. the light carries everything. trapped in the theatre. capsulized in one lightbuilb. forever. we are forever.
then we sort of stumbled off the stage and to ease our pain ran around making plans to goout to dinner. to throw in one last moment together. bobby was still crying and it probably would have been the perfect oppurtunity to comfort him…but i suck. so i went with claire and christina and lucy and i dont remember who else…and we drove to market fair…driving away from hun so incredibly sad…but so desperate for one last moment. we ate at fridays. i dont remember who was there…but a whole lot of us…all crammed in a few tables…i love cast dinners though. but i was at the end of the table with christina and such and i really wanted to be with bobby and he was on the other side and i didnt have much time left so i decided oh what the hell…and i went and sat next to bobby at the OTHER head of the table…i was proud of myself. and hahaha we had so much fun. just laughing about nothing. and everything. bobby and i’s relationship is soo fantastic right now. we were just laughing and laughing and poking each other and joking about random things that no one else got and just enjoying our last few moments together. all of us really. it was sad…but really i didnt even think about the future..i just thought about then…and being there with everyone. bobby was on one side and conor was on the other. that’s all i remember. i don’t really remember what we all talked about or howlong we were there…just that i loved it. and really really never wanted to leave. oh i do remember that my mom like completely freaked out for no reason once i got there and i had to calm her down but that was okay. other than that…dinner was divine. just relaxing with them…pretending it wasn’t actually over and that we wouldnt actually have to go to school tomorrow and never be able to go back to the castle ever again. i loved the time with bobby. we would just laugh and laugh and look at each other and laugh and it seemed as if we could do that forever. joking about chuckwallas and kinky kong. we could have stayed there forever.
then all of the sudden and without warning it was over. we had to go home. dinner was divine but suddenly it was time to get back in the car. far too soon. we all stumbled to our cars in the snow singing and yelling at each other then i finally climbed back in claire’s car and drove back to hun one final time. singing and laughing all the way. it just seemed to be all over far too soon. that drive home was so incredibly depressing…just nothing at all to look forward to. it all behind me. last moment ever…hard to enjoy. once i got to hun i was all confused and sad and wanting to see bobby and feeling bad that i hadnt told him goodbye so i did this weird thing where all these different people could have given me a ride home and i refused and so then i was stuck at hun all by myself and ihad to call my mom and she freaked out and was all upset and then i was all completely alone at hun very anticlimactically and mattress was all over and i was sad and it was snowing…it was just a very very sad moment. i went into the theatre one last time…completely dark and completely alone and cried a little and looked in astonishment at the bare set and single ghostlight…the ghostlight holding all we had…all that had ever happened in the past two months…all we created swirling in that ghostlight…then finally and swiftly turned around and walked through the doors one last time…everything dissipating in that one action. i walked through the snow all alone unable to think that it was all over until my mom picked me up and screamed at me for the next hour before i just finally and totally melted into tears. and then…there were none.
sometimes the whole entire experience seems real…sometimes i listen to the soundtrack and it doesnt actually seem like we did this show. sigh. i really can’t believe its all over. it’s feel so so long ago now. an entire lifetime ago. and where am i left now? alone. no more moments. no more of Once Upon a Mattress ever again. i guess I’m okay now…it really does feel like a lifetime ago. a brilliant, lovely, beautiful lifetime…but still nonetheless in the past…which is very bizarre indeed. i dont really know what else to say…it was a great experience.
I think I’m ready. Sigh. It’s not giving up…it’s not letting go…it’s moving forward. Honoring. One last time.
It feels so entirely long ago. In an incredibly bizarre way. So so long ago. Horribly sad.
today…slept in until activities period. was MAD sick. went to the assemlby and sat with the theatre kids. they called us up to stand infront of evryone. lovely moment. bogie announced that the spring play in julius ceasar…WTF?? video. english. math with DAVIS. was really sly and got to eat lunch and then check in with schenk and not get in trouble for it. hard to explain. then advanced scene we just talked about how sad we were that it was over. then bogie talked about julius ceasar and im actually really excited for it now. then we watched the tape of the show. it was a surreal experience. it feels like so long ago now. then i slept on the theatre couch during my last period. then we cut off conor’s hair and it was incredibly sad. then all of the cast showed up in the theatre becasue we couldn’t bear to not be there and we all watched the entire tape of the show together and laughed hysterically at what idiots we all are. it was enjoyable. then the most enjoyable thing of all happened. UGH.
WE GOT CONOR CHOI TO THE DARK SIDE. BWAHAHAHAHA. HE’S QUITTING LACROSSE AND DOING THE SPRING PLAY.
actually…i mean beyond just like wow this is going to be so much fun…i mean there’s really something to be said about that…that he’s quitting his main sport to do this with us. it’s a beautiful thing. SO exciting too. i mean it shows just what an incredible thing it is.
AAAAAND bobby i’m almost 95% sure is going to too but i don’t want to get excited yet becuase i’m not positive. but seriously…how awesome would it be if both bobby and conor quit their sports to do theatre. that’s really something.
then we all kind of hung around and didnt want to the theatre…we looked at pictures of the show together and then just ran around messing around. then bobby had to go to baseball practice…awww so sad. but yeah. sigh. alot of good stuff. we’ve all never been closer. the bond between us all is tangible. ugh. we just can’t walk away from that theatre. beautiful.
anyway. now im sick and tired and exhausted and out of it and sad and i need to go to bed. sigh. no words left.
I’m missing it soooo much….
Today (Tuesday) was lovely too. Sooo sick it’s not even funny. I got there and went straight to the nurse and slept until activities period. i dont remember activities. video blah. english we watched movie. i was like seriosuly dying i was so sick all over. math i just slept right on through. then 7th period i slept on the theatre couch. i seriously don’t even know why i came to school today. then we had like no scene class. the bell rang and bobby and solomon and conor and elisa were the only ones who showed up…everyone else was smart enough to actually stay home sick. so me and bobby and solomon and conor and elisa just chillaxed and laughed and cuddled on the couch. me and bobby are like so fierce. our relationship is intense and fiery. with a whole lot of touching. it’s enjoyable. then we just sort of never left the tehatre for a few hours. it’s amazing what a black hole it is. and how cute it is that its so hard to walk away from. me and bobby were like unbelievably cute…and then there was this one point where we just kept touching each other and solomon was like “Ok stop it and just go out already!” and we were like uhhhh…and everyone’s face was like “i’ve wanted to say that for so long” it was actually pretty funny and then like 10 minutes later he said again he was like “no seriously, why aren’t you guys going out yet?”…oh so awkward but cute. then later in quyens conor or something was like “why don’t you just take her to prom?” hah it’s getting really awkward. and i myself wonder, why aren’t we going out? it’s very bizarre. but yeah. interesting…then bobby gave me a ride home. and hahaha as we were leaving we passed A2C2 in the road…and it took them a second to register that it was bobby waving at them…and then that I was in the car with him…and then they were like why the fuck is lauren in the car with bobby? hahah i felt so satisfied…the look on their faces was priceless. hah. you don’t get everything girls.
then i walked into town. looked hopelessly for monologues. got a cupcake. came home. put some pictures up. blahed. blah blah. i am sick. i am going to have a horrible audition tomorrow but that’s okay. um. yes. goodnight.
Honestly. Theatre is home. And those people are family.
Wednesday. Mmmm another good day. Long and exhausting and way to sick to be in school…but…nonetheless. I had scene first…I don’t remember at all…then during my free i buckled down and got far in my french paper and then all of the sudden i got REALLY sick…like not throw up sick but like how I feel after they take my blood and i really didnt know what to do so i ran up to the nurse and i really needed to just keel over and i told her and she took my blood pressure but then i almost fainted. and for some reason she didnt believe me cuz i was there yesterday and i didnt want to go home. i REALLY wanted to go home but mom said that if i went home that i couldn’t audition for crimes of the heart…and the audition was just too important…so she let me rest for like 10 minutes and then i tried as best as i could to shake it off. dumb idea. i’m just getting sicker and sicker trying to stick through it. i had to go to the last 10 minutes of french class and the whole class was staring me down like it was my fault that i’m dying and shaffer yelled at me until i told her that i was so sick that i really should not even be here and i guess she’s okay now. then we had a majorly worthless assembly on the dangers of facebook and i told bogie and lucy that i really should go home but that i wanted to audition and they told me to stay anyway. ugh. then video we interviewed idris…then english p was sketchy…then math i slept through with kiala…then double physics…ummm…i dont really rememeber. oh yeah! during the entire first period i had to be in that sketchy glass classroom alone with matt everts and david putman…since none of us had taken the quiz…but it was weird…and i mean they were nice to me and all…but its like this WHOLE other world that i’m so not aware of and so don’t care about. and they’re like “why don’t you ever party with us and our crowd” and i’m like uhhh. because you guys freak me out. i don’t know. it’s a really interesting grade we have. coming out of that classroom and getting back to my own world was really trippy.
then we had auditions for Crimes of the Heart. Which was actually exciting. And I have to say…the best audition of my entire life. Not really because I did well or anything…but I just was not scared at all. Not a single nerve. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten over my fear after doing monologues in class. But I didn’t even think about it all day. I never once practiced my monologue…I just read over it in my head a couple times…and then I got freaked out because we had to do a southern accent and I’m terrified of accents…but I was really surprised…I walked into the room and Lucy and Royce were sitting there (which was WEIRD im not gonna lie) and i walked on stage without a care in the world and suddenly from out of my mouth came this southern accent and i performed the whole monologue without flinching. they said it was good but didnt ask to see anything more…i highly doubt that i’ll be cast…considering there’s only 6 roles…and only 4 girls…but it was still worth trying out. overall it was a good audition. a good afternoon. once you get over the TERROR of auditions…they are sort of fun…watching everyone on edge. bobby and i were fierce. fierce. then we didnt leave until like 5:30. from 2:30 to 5:30 was me and bobby rapage time. it’s quality stuff. believe me. i dont really know what we did after auditions…me and bobby and conor and solomon hung out. it’s absolutely amazing and adorable how we’re so unable to leave the theatre. sigh. but bobby and i did have a really hot hug that lasted a really long time and it got really quiet and you could just hear bobby’s heaving breathing. oh boy good stuff. i dont know where on earth this is going…but i’m loving every minute of it. oh and we shaved off the rest of conor’s hair…which was actually really sad…i was feeling really nostalgic today…time is impressing upon me. the sun was setting and it was a week since the excitement of starting the hair…and here we were shaving it all off for good. that’s it. it’s over. sigh sigh sigh. it was beautiful while it lasted.
anyway….then…yeah….hahah i’m also really loving bobby and i’s relationship rightnow in general. we just get along so well. we really complement each other well. and i love when A2C2 walks by us and is like wtf. um then i guess i went home. exhausted and dead.
my mom got these REALLY awesome necklace things that say “The Guilty Ones” and “Touch Me”…she gave the touch me one to emlyn which i thought was whorish becuase i really wanted that one. oh and i dropped my application off at hitops. exciting. then i had a swell time listening to mattress…missing it and uploading pictures and reliving it one last time. sigh sigh. i really actually can’t believe it’s over sometimes. it’s been a long ride. sigh. then i had a BLAST with Bogie’s facebook…hahaha that was the most fun i’ve had in a long time laughing to myself at the fact that i’m freidns with him on facebook. tagging him was a pleasure. oh boy what fun.
now its late and i really should go to bed. i miss so many things. i doubt ill get into crimes, but it would be so much fun. bobby is a mess. i am in a very good place.
i miss so much. i love so much. i live SO much. that’s all that matters.
Today was interesting. Slightly disappointing in ways. Not in others. scene we did some cool new exercises. then free i finished my paperness. then activities i blahed…realized i dislike my friends in comparisson to the theatre kids by alot. then video i shworked like a mother. i am so behind and its so not fair. english was worthless. math was dumb. french was retarded. the whole class was like mad at me and getting on my case for not being here all week and i was like stfu guys ive been really sick who are you to get on my case? it was so weird. then physics was worthless worthless. then after school i was running around doing stuff. i didnt get cast in crimes of the heart. i was actually sort of disappointed about it all day…and sort of felt like they gave lindsey the part just beacuse they’re friends with her…but after a while i got over it. just as long as i get to be involved. it’s gonna be so much fun. and then by the time we did the read through i was totally okay with not being cast…everyone in it is SO incredibly talented. it should be fun producing it though. it’s going to be really exciting. after school bobby suddenly decided to go back to baseball and i almost cried. i seriously did. and then me and savvy tried to get him to do theatre again and he called his dad and told him he wasnt going to do baseball and then when he hung up we were dancing around and hugging him and he’s like yeah i totally didnt call him i just did that for the hugs, im gonna go to baseball practice now. that was so sad. i like almost cried. and then today…well it was the first day in 2 months that i didnt spend all after school with bobby…and it was like man…this is really gonna suck if he doesnt do this. it was really saddening. ugh. but yeah the read through was fun and exciting and hilarious. i felt a bit of ohm in the room. sigh.
then i kdont remember what happened when i came home. i sort of napped while watching the oscars. then blubbed around. uploaded more pictures. yeah. stuff like that. hahahah and then bobby imed me for the first time and he pretended to be conor choi and it was like wtf. hahaha LOSER. but cute. very cute. i’m really confused about what’s going on tomorrow…and now i feel uber awkward because i feel like i invited myself and i’m sooo not sure what’s going on….ummm but we’ll see? yeah. one last day before spring break. yay? nay? sigh. enjoy what you have when you have it.
and bobby is a loser.
Everything feels like it’s beginning to wind down. How did I get to the latter end of the year already? It FLEW by. Honestly it did. It doesn’t even feel earned. It went by too fast.
Red13urton12ide: i wanna go home
AnInnocentBanjo: arent you home…
Red13urton12ide: i want to go back to the castle
whitt has now taken to calling bobby my “boyfriend”. cute. but weird. and today he said to me “Ok so everyone knows there’s something between you and bobby…when are you guys gonna get your act together?” hah. oh sigh whitt.
It’s so sad thinking of it all as memories now…