Today was nice. Ish. Long. Ish. Day. So so so tired. Nothing particularly special. I’m LOVING angels in america in advanced scene. Bogie is earning back a little bit of respect. We have the most mature, honest discussions in that class over ANY other class I’ve ever taken. Just because we’re all so comfortable with each other and all so intellectual…that we can read an excerpt from Angels in America and actually say meaningful things about it instead of bullshitting around and having dumb teachers sit there and try to make you talk and make you say things and wean worthless, NOT meaningful things out of you that didn’t tell you anything you didn’t know. Bogie doesnt try to act like we’re stupid…he knows we get the surface stuff…so he is able to actually stand up there and provide interesting new things we either didn’t know or hadn’t thought of. After reading it myself and watching the entire thing…he actually posed some new ways of looking at it that I hadn’t thought of without being condescending or blatant. So yeah. This whole Angels in America thing ROCKS. Hah. Poor Bobby though. We don’t do work AT ALL the ENTIRE year…and the day he joins…we suddenly start doing hardcore work. Hah.

Anyway. Um. We had GSA. That was enjoyable. I really really love being there. In video we watched like every movie Joe has ever done. It was kinda creepy.

I don’t know how I’m ever going to get over my Spring Awakening obsession. It seriously grows everyday. And everyday I find more and more little beautiful things in it that I hadn’t before. It’s absolutely incredible. I don’t think anyone in the world feels the way I do about it. Honestly. Hah. And I don’t think anyone should…or ever could. But I’m so fine with that.

Mattress rehearsal was actually, believe it or not…really good. I just had a sudden burst of energy and I felt so good. Running around laughing…actually realllly enjoying it for the first time. Laughing with Katie and I don’t know…I just had energy. Yes. Enjoyable. But then Bogie let me have ONE special little part…the only freaking thing I get to do thewhole play…and then he replaced me with Christina because she’s “smaller and it’ll look cuter.” Whatever. And Christina was complaining ALL day and ALL rehearsal about how fucking sick she was and how awful she felt. This time I actually didn’t have pity. The ENTIRE school is sick. I’ve been sick for 3 weeks straight. EVERYONE is sick. She had a freaking sore throat. Big deal. It’s winter. Get over it. And I think I’m picking up on…ness. He had stopped paying any attention to her for the past few weeks actually…becasue she had actually been being strong and unresponsive and actually being her own person. Then today she was all “Cough cough I’m sick cough cough I can’t talk”…and he was RIGHT back into that “Aw Christina aw take care of yourself aw are you okay aw let me poke you and tickle you” and I think he’s so attracted to that weak side of her…becuase he loves to be the protective, big man. Eh. Whatever. Well either that or he’s nuts just like all the other ones I’ve fallen for. Great. I don’t know where that leaves me. But at least I’m still at the point where I don’t actually care that much. So that’s good.

Actually after rehearsal me and CChoi and soloman and christina hung out in quyens and i felt happy for the first time in a while. i dont know why. it wasnt any big thing. it just actually felt like we were actually doing the musical. hah.

Um. Then I came home and got annoyed by various people in the house. which was odd. and then spent like 3 hours making spring awakening avatars. yes. i HAVE lost it. i made 50 avatars. ROCK ON. haha it’s really fun. even though i have no idea what i’m doing. anyway I made a xanga for them so shlook at them!

click! click! yes. i made ALL of them. yeah i’m nuts.

anywho. i’m so so exahusted. by. life. then i like collapsed on the couch for a while. mumhjgek. and now to bed.

keep living it to the fullest. and stop worrying about scraggly haired boys. there will ALWAYS be a scraggly haired boy to get in your way. don’t worry.

tomorrow is the last day of january. how did it go by SO fast?



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