I am currently enjoying the most divine evening ever. I do not want it to ever end. I just feel at peace.
AND I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ROCKSTAR.
There is SOOOOOOO much to write. It’s not even comprehensible. I really hoped I would have the time to write it all and organize my whole mind…but I simply didn’t. Maybe I can work on it over the week before the homework load explodes in my face.
Ugh. Life is pleasing pleasing.
Anyway. This exactly marks the halfway point of junior year. I have no idea how to swallow that statement. I mean I suppose on the one hand, that means we’re only halfway through and we’ve still got half of it left to go through…and the best part too…but on the other hand…I mean…I’m halfway through junior year. It went by UNBELIEVABLY fast. I knew it would too. I need to get back in touch with myself. Since winter came and it got colder, I haven’t given myself the same time I used to…bike riding around…going to the park…going to the lake…and just reflecting. It actually is really important. Maybe that’s why it seems as if time is being vaporized…maybe I just need to slow down. All in all…it’s so not what I expected. Twisting and turning and falling and gaping. But Spring Awakening basically gives meaning to it all. The “big event” that happens in january happened…and it was in no means what I would have EVER guessed. But that’s the way it’s supposed to be. And In a way…it was almost an incredible experience..because I was finally able to realize truths about myself that I wasn’t tapping into and take a strong stand for something I believe in. It was “the horrible event” but truly…slightly redeeming. Either way…Junior year is half gone. Or half left. I stand at the precipice. This is the crossroads. It’s all before me. The steady and magnificent decline. The few last months with the theatre kids. The last few months to enjoy being a junior. Fucking live and breathe and cherish it. This only happens once.
I have no idea how this will end. Or where I will go. Or what is to come. But that…in itself is so fucking beautiful. Commit to that. To the future. To the past. And to this moment. Breathe.
Slow down. Breathe.
And live the rest of the year to it’s fullest.
BRING. IT. ON.