Soooo. I might as well start writing now. Hmmm.

I’ll write a skeleton of the weekend becuase I don’t have time to write all this now…but blah.

Thursday. Exciting opening night. Boh. I don’t actually remember what we did. But I remember
-Starbucks with Christina
-Bogie giving bags
-Lying on the stage with my cast listening to his poem and trying not to cry
-Squeeze with just us and absolutely crying for no reason…
-Lucy’s mom giving us roses like Ms. Ohm did
-All saying one thing Ms. Ohm would have said. I said “Tell the story.”
-Then an absolutely incredible show.

Friday. Half day. Worthless classes. Got out at like 12. Went into town with Christina and walked around for like 3 hours. Sat in the bent spoon drinking hot chocolate for quite literally two hours straight as Christina just spilled her entire life story. And it was a fascinating experience…I wasn’t bored…or annoyed…or necessarily helpful either…just receptive. For one of the first time I really listened to what the person was telling me…for both their benefit and mine…not thinking about time and not judging them…but just honestly put myself in their shoes and it was actually a sort of enlightening look into someone else’s life and the human condition on the whole. it was fascinating rather than aggravating and on the whole I feel much more compassionate towards christina….much more of a connection and much more understanding of not only her behavior…but of exveryones. i can’t really explain. it was fascinating.

anyway. then chris and i came home and wrapped ourselves up in matching pajamas and lots of blankets and sat and watched desperate housewives, the office, 101 dalmations and beauty and the beast and slept. it was adorablefun.

then friday nigth show. such a good fucking audience. no fair.

then the cast went to halo pub for ice cream…royce drove us and it was so much fun hahaha we were like attacking bogie and then the moon was so beautiful f ejfkeajl…i love them so much.

Saturday. slept till like 12. bike ride. blub. rat rehearsal.
-Dinner with the cast at TGIF…sitting across from Joe. Omg orgasmic…let me just say some of the highlights of the conversation:

Joe: I don’t know how a guy can lose interest in a girl. I just don’t understand that.

(In conversation with Jen) Joe: Like with Kaitlyn (Bevans)…I think I’ll always love her. I think a part of me will never get over her. She’s always in my heart. And that’s hard for me to deal with.

There was more but I don’t remember it. He’s just far too amazing.

Then the cast walked around market fair…then Jenn drove us to hun and blasted break up music and told us all about matt. sooo sad.

then SATURDAY NIGHT SHOW. omg. i have soo much to write about this. fjekfjela. richie came! and it was amazinggg.

i got to do the ghostlight.

then the cast went to thomas sweet for ice cream and like randomly trey came. and jen drove us again and she like lost it and was like flipping out. and its a really long story but jenn was just like bitching out trey on the side of the street about christina. and oh! dennis the lead in the music man at lawrenceville and jenn’s ex boyfriend and his friend was there and it was so funny. jenn was so freaking scary. it was pleasing though. i lovee lvoelveo them all. it was so freaking hilarious. then jenn drove us back and we bitched about boys. wow. i love jenn. poor thing. and then chris came home to my hosue and broke up with trey on my front door step…it was so intense. hahah it was amazing. wow.

oh and princess pat and let me see that butt!

then sunday. last show. wow.  insane weekend. woke up and went to the show…it was so sad. but so much fun. lots of pictures and lots of love. last squeeze. made me cry. we did counting and saying things we needed. final show. i listened as each line fell out of my memory and cried. it was a small audience like all sunday shows are but we got a standing ovation and it was worth every second. then we were all done. then was strike and i sort of stood there in shock and watched as my beautiful set that took 6 weeks to build was destroyed in an hour. it was intense. and sad. but i loved every moment. by that time it was already like 6 or so. then we ALL did the final ghostlight and wow it was so beautiful. we all held it and watched the light flicker on for the last time. what a beautiful beautiful experience.

then the cast went to wawa. i went in logan’s car with whitt and kiala and elisa and it was cute stuff. wawa was nice. then we drove back. dance partied. then logan drove me home alone which was sort of awkward but nice. he dropped me off in front of my lonely house…drove away….and there it was. all over. i stood under for the moon for a few moments…then turned in and walked inside. and that was it. that was the curious savage. i loved every moment. sigh.

what a weekend.

No posters…but we did get shirts.

Monday. Blahblahblahness. I was seriously experiencing some post play depression but I didn’t even recognize it. Just sort of blah the whole day even though on the outside i felt fine. french. physics. FREEEE. went up to lunch and ate with carla and elisa and we joked about doing my dance to black velvet…it was so funny. hun tv…video i didnt have a story. that was bad. english yeah. math. then advanced scene bflejlfe jen and soloman did monologues. then last free…i worked on my solo in the theatre and hahaha it was so freaking funny bogie was like going insane about it like telling me what to do and we like bickered about this for like 2 hours and it’s not even his dance! id dint even ask him for help! haha he’s crazy. and our relationship really is insane. like totally not legal.

it’s no where near an appropriate student/teacher relationship…even a close student/teacher relationship. not even just the fact that we curse with each other and talk about sex and drugs and drinking together…but blah i just can’t explain. this sounds really really weird but i feel like there are sometimes…just becuase…well i don’t know why…but we don’t even regard each other as anything other than like boy and girl…it’s really weird. and it never really verges on brother/sister kind of thing…but occasionally has a hint of father/daughter sort of thing…since he knows all about my shitty father and he doesnt have any kids. it’s really weird. we’re close enough in age that we’re like friends..but also far enough apart that it has this weird…i dont know. it’s just really really weird. i also don’t think he’s really used to being on that teacher level…he’s only been a teacher for like 2 months…so he doens’t know how to treat us exactly…which is understandable…but yeah. so bizarre. but fun.

i spent a while working out my solo….and finally decided on believe. it should be fun and different. jfkejfl. then bogie made me turn on the ghostlight. sigh. came home. fell asleep watching desperate housewvies. blubbed. slept more.

I HAVE TWO FREES NOW!!!! IT IS DIVINEEEE.

Today. Giving blood day. Whitt came into my video class and made jokes about Bowman. First free. Slept. french. physics. lunch with sam. video class learning shit. soo exhausted all day. english is a weird class. math is BLAH. then i had free and i went into the theatre and practiced my dance a bit and then fell asleep on the couch with Bogie next to me. Next was advanced scene so everyone came in and i was asleep on the couch…it was cute. then in class i felt like getting it overwith…so i did my monologue again…plus a few people werent there becuase they were giving blood so it was a good time…but ughh i was just so not in the right mindset to do it i guess and i really just sucked hard. i mean i dont really know. i just didnt get a good vibe from it. and he made me do it over and over again. we spent like a half an hour on it. and my mouoth was dry and the emotion was stripped and it was just like blah. and then he made me say it into choi’s eyes and…it was bizarre.then he made me sing it and i was just like raaa noo and i stalled and then finally just did it. it was better than i thought it would be…but i still felt like it sucked. and i began putting walls up again and that’s not a good thing. slowly but surely im chipping away at myself..until finally i’ll see what’s left underneath. on my performance bogie said “the emotion is real, but the way you express it is not”…that’s probably true. he said i bottle it all up and have way too much internal shit. its so true. anyway. then joe went and he basically rocked hardcore. oh well. im glad i got it overiwth. i’ve changed so much already. knocking down the walls is difficult but soo rewarding.

then after school christina was crying. i can’t explain why…but i have a new found compassion for her. i really can’t explain.

then i went and hung out in the theatre. my theatre. doing work…talking to bogie…sleeping…and dancing. all those girls are so retarded but whatever. i cant believe the show is in two days. anyway it was interesting. stayed till like 5:30. turned the ghostlight on. went home. watched tv. now im…lolling about.

BAHHH THIS IS SO SAD. i can’t believe the play is over. its sooo depressing. cryekrjelka. ugh. back to real life…….ew.

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idealist
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dance in teh raintoo late nowdamage is done


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