I think I might honestly like my theatre friends more than my real friends right now.

Bogie: You baffle me. You have a truly baffling personality.
Me: What so baffling?
Bogie: You’re just one contradiction after the next. You’re just one big contradiction.
Me: I don’t believe in contradictions. Especially not in people.
Lucy: That doesn’t even make sense. Why don’t you tell us your secrets?
Bogie: Maybe that’s your thing. Maybe you’re just so mysterious and locked up with all this darkness and confusion inside of you…put over and all covered up with this big cheery fasade.
Me: And how is that a contradiction? That doesn’t me I’m contradictory. That means I’m complex. That means I’m human.

Not that I hadn’t heard that before. I just found it interesting.

I must say I adore nothing more than to sit in that theatre and talk away the days. It is pure bliss. Fascinating bliss.

And I do find it fascinating that the theatre people, Ms. Ohm and Bogie all classify me as “mysterious.” And “secretive.” I think if you were to ask any one of my “real friends” they would be completely baffled by that description. For the longest longest time I really thought that the theatre crowd either saw me in the wrong light, or more probably, that I just acted very differently around them all. That seemed most logical. I’m beginning to think that I act very much the same around both groups…it’s merely that the theatre people…care more…to see into the truth…they know me more…to see how much I hide…and they are more intellectual to see me in the way that I really am. Rather than the way I act. Which is shocking too, to say they know me better, considering I spent a great deal more time with my real friends. But it seems my “real friends” care much more about the silly drama and petty fights and how straightened my hair is today or how late I was to that party or what I said about her to really see anything more about me that exactly what is painted on the surface. And I don’t mean that in a necessarily spiteful way. I just feel like it’s the truth. And I don’t feel like my “real friends” have any interest in delving into that area of my life, or their life or any of their lives for that matter. Just the high school surface. And the high school surface makes me insane.

I much prefer the theatre dorks that sit around laughing about art and dwelling on the human condition.

And for some reason I get the feeling that in the past 6 weeks, they have known me better than anyone else. There are some things that the high school surface just can’t
see and don’t want to see that those who are more open can. So in that
way, in a variety of different aspects, the theatre crowd knows me
better than my real friends do. And I feel blessed to have that, in a

That’s not even really my friends fault. It’s just life.


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