Life just continues to get more and more beautiful. And I’m finding more and more meaning in the word meaning.

Today I rode around on my bike for 4 hours. I was determined to find
the lake place I had found before but I got lost and was just about to
go home when I ran down a stray path and just happened to run across
the lake place. Heh. It was meant to be. So I found another way there
which is actually easier. Imagine that. I spent another few hours there
just soaking in the beauty…reading various philosophy and poetry
books I bought…writing poetry…and contemplating. That’s really all
I need out of life. I can’t even begin to comprehend the journey I’ve
taken this summer. I am so glad. So glad. There is no pursuit more
powerful than that of the mind. And I feel like…not to be cliched and
say that I’ve changed so much…because a human being is at a constant
state of change…but I feel like I’ve living the life I was meant to
life. And I feel like I’m the person I always wanted to be.
Unbelievably flawed and inconceivably imperfect…but the sheer fact
that I’m grasping life and letting it fill up my lungs…paint the
chipping corners of my mind with beauty and throw my fractured heart
into the wind. Where it can soar. That makes me feel like I am all that
I ever need to be.

I just love being alive.

I think that this spiritual quest I have embarked upon has been one of
the most important experiences of my entire life. And will continue to
be for the rest of my natural life…this pursuit is undoubtably
crucial to my development. I think when it’s all over at the end of the
summer I’ll write all of my findings. Sigh. Until then…I’ll keep
experimenting and researching and thinking. I cannot express enough how
glad I am to have entered this path.
And I also have to say that it’s very important as well that I read
some actual philosophy…not becasue it necessarily opens me to new
ideas…but because it actually only verbalize what I already
think…It was actually incredible…the last time I read philosophy
books back in march or so…I was in over my head not able to
understand hardly anything they were saying…and reading them now…I
not only completely understood them…but I had already had those
thoughts before. So it’s good…not to raise my ego…but to humble
myself…that I’m not the only one with these thoughts…that I’m not
alone…and that all humans are connected. It’s vastly important to not
begin to think of yourself as the sole thinker in the world. I also had
been given a very very strange idea of existentialism previously…most
highschoolers just said that it was “the idea that life is chaos” so I
thought that was sort of cool but not very moving…then when I
actually read a book on Neitchze…I realized extistentialism is really
nothing like that…at all…the “chaos” thing is only a product of
aeithism…and I don’t consider myself an aeithiest but I found myself very keenly drawn to the idea of
existentialism…it actually seemed incredibly similar to my personal
philosophy which I seemed to have devised and adopted. Funny.

So this is the beautiful place that I discovered. I must must must take
Tree-Axe there. It’s my own private heaven. I know I shouldn’t have
taken a picture of it because now it’s no longer a secret place…but
oh well. It’s beautiful.

 

Then after that we went into the city and saw Avenue Q which I must say
was splendid. I mean absolutely fantastic. I loved it. At first I
didn’t really know what I thought of the staging with the puppets…and
whether or not the stage was a good medium for this sort of
performance…but I decided it was actually brilliant. The show itself
was crazy yet somehow incredibly real lyrically and endearing. It
really was raunchy but I loved it. Naked muppet sex on stage is a once
in a lifetime sort of thing. I was so just wordlessly pleased with the
show that I jumped out of my seat at curtain call smiling from ear to
ear. You can’t help but like the show.

That’s us infront of the theatre ALL in freshly bought Avenue Q shirts
but you can’t really see…twas still amazing. I adore broadway. That’s
my third broadway show this month. That’s amazing.

So basically an amazing day. Everday is amazing these days.
Every breath. Every subtle poetic image. Every emotion. I’m loving
every inch of life. And I love that I’m seeing with these new eyes.

AND FUCKING USHER IS GOING TO BE BILLY FLYNN IN CHICAGO ON BROADWAY. HOW FUCKING AMAZING IS THAT? PRETTY FUCKING AMAZING. I AM SOOO GOING.

AAAAAAAAND TIM BURTON IS MAKING SWEENEY TODD INTO A FUCKING MOVIE AND
JOHNYYYYY DEPPP IS GOING TO BE SWEENEY TODD. *Mouth falls to ground*
That was the best news I ever heard.

AAAAAAAAAAAAND………DANNY…………..EQUUS………..
NUDE…..HORSES. SEX. NEED I SAY MORE? No. No I don’t.

I think that’s just about far too much juicy goodness for me to handle. Basically the world of theatre is GODLY. Godly I say!

Yes I believe in god. It is the majesty of broadway.

There’s a fine, fine line between love


And a waste of time.




And I don’t have the time to waste on you anymore.


I don’t think that you even know what you’re looking for.


For my own sanity, I’ve got to close the door


And walk away…

-Avenue Q-