grass. Sex books galore. Furlong’s mouth. Melissa’s giggling. Riding
dangerously in AJ’s car. Riding free in Logan’s car. Riding insanely in
Margretta’s. Riding sweetly in Lucy’s. Pina coladas in Las Vegas on a
random weekend in February. Jmo and I’s 4 hour
massage on Emlyn’s bed. Expensive sweet 16’s to the max. Pictures
in the snow. Hiding on Campbell’s porch in a foot of snow. Jackie
reading porn for the first time. The look of love. The first time
seeing the breathtaking English countryside. Ballet class with Ethan
Steiffel. Pimp dances and pouty
presentations. Obscene slideshows. The pimp hat. Walks on the mall at
midnight. Rape in the stairwell. Cliques. Anger management. Insane
boys. The accents of Anne Frank. The glory of Godspell. The love of
Lysistrata. Sudoben. GODO. Alchohol poisoning and calls to the
National Teen Drunk Helpline. Connor Bowman. Tie wars. The board in Ms.
Davis’ room. The eternal math class of cookies. Spengler’s
The quest to kill Cipolaro. Skipping Driver’s Ed. DC’s. The lunch to
end all lunches. Talks and tears in the gazebo. Meltdowns and violance
in history. Try-to-kill Treichel. Getting high. Feeling low. Poetry.
“The Slamman.” Bubble tea. Black mamba in Panera. Kiltmen. Catcher In
the Rye. Being chased
by Mexicans at midnight. The Italian Festival and screaming
obscenities. Andrew on So You Think You Can Dance. Area codes and lots
of hoes. Trick-or-Treating at the Quirks. Fog and rollercoaster love.
Dancing for Mexicans for bacon. Emlyn leaving england and living with us.
Sleepovers and picture mania. Ben getting run over by a car. The WTF
bag. Slow dancing with best friends. Grinding with
loves. Hugs. Nookins. The Emo Buster. The brilliance of Guitar Hero.
Chef Boyardi at 3 in the morning and policemen in Wawa. The ferris
wheel in Toys R Us. Meeting David Hyde Pierce. Ma’am. Mark’s birthday
shirt and Ben’s emo face. Baby videos of Mark. Humpday Wednesdays. The
Book of Shrigley. Exam “studying” on Campbell’s bed. The shower party
to end all shower parties. Baguette fights in the streets of Princeton.
Emily Rose. Thomas Anderson and the wonder of beatboxing. My little
alcove and late night talks. The mystery of my missing camera bag. Rent
and its incredible ability to reach those who need it. Founder’s
fest and the corresponding T-Shirts. Jenga mastery and silly games at
Jackie’s house. Communiversity. Market fair rats…and everything that
Masturbating men in the food court. Maurice. Boris. Desperate
Housewives. Kerr running around
in a suit of armor. Meeting random new people and laughing with them
and at them. Monopoly in the middle of market fair. Rufus
and sketchy old men. Mexican playgrounds and
burned down houses. Cemetaries and the making out that proceeds them.
Blowing up condoms to watermelon size and scarring kids for life. CVS
pimping and Jeremy’s constant wearing of my pajama pants. Work details
with sketchy mexicans. Doing Mark’s laundry. Lighting celery on fire.
Interpretive dance auditions. Gingerbread workshops and the brilliance
of Jeff. Just Friends, Date Movie and every other horrible movie we
endured. High 8th graders. Buying sex books with Bowman. Turkish
delight. The Mexican Jumping Hat Party (AKA My mother is brilliant).
Screaming and shouting at midnight. The tree and a lack of its
serenity. Fights with mother and walking to
school. Anger. Resentment. Sadness. Grief. Jumping out of moving cars.
The legend of Campbell’s thighs. Brilliant gifts from the father. Solos
that make you cry and solos that make you die. Crew and everything that
entails. Choir and half an hour bathroom breaks. Ripping chairs out of
the ground and tearing clocks off the wall. BC squared. STP.
Tree-Axe-Fo-Yo-Mouf. A2C2. Brookstone and their amazing chairs. Icing
with Melissa and baking cakes at 4 in the morning. The Office and it’s
earth shaking finale. Sex In the Hood. Playing tug-of-war with my body. Cataracts in Campbell’s eyes.
Campbell’s angst. Bob’s ice cream and lemonade
consumption. Reading Lysistrata aloud in the CVS entrance area. Sitting
illegally in trees. Hair changes. Melissa and Amy. The sketchy back alleyway. Jumping over doors and
peeing in pants…literally.
Drug tests at cotillion. Limos. NYC with Melissa and Amy. CAO. Communist China and
metal rods. Cowboy Rent parties and seasons of love. Prom or lack there
of. Logie Wogie and the wonders of Kara’s house. Streaking in the
pouring rain on the athletic fields. Wicked Halloween. Mrs. Davis.
Flaxseed pancakes, two years expired canola cakes, Carla’s horrible
cookies, penis cakes and all other atrocious cooking mishaps. Friends
asking friends out. Dance parties in my kitchen at 4 in the morning.
Daniel drunk and saying innappropriate things. Mimes. Being kicked off
ETS chairs at Sam’s Sweet 16. Blind Art. Dances and skanks and lack of
Lock-In. Making valentines at Sarah’s. The horrors of the PBS Gala.
Fireworks on cakes…because that’s totally necessary. Connor’s amazing
squeeze hug and rope embrace. Grave of the Fireflies. Fights. Hilarious
conversations with my father. The Chroni-WHAT-cles of Narnia. Sketchy
first dates. KA.
Jumping fences into Dophin Exibits and being “escorted out.” Bush’s
office. Coppelia and Nutcracker. Taking far too many pictures with Sam.
Innappropriate pictures. Going to King’s Cross Station. Missing
auditions. 704. Godspell dance
parties. Suprise parties. Bowling for Jeremy and jumping off things.
Elevators. Jmo raping sketchy DJ’s. 16 candle ceremonies. The obscenity
of Myspace. The lust for xanga. Getting stuck
in elevators in the ghetto hotel in Vegas. Will’s amazing harmonica
playing. Literally stalking Dan
Reiss’s dorm in NYC…Seeing Dan in NYC. Making brownie, cake, or
cookie batter and eating the whole thing raw. Sex. Put your hands down
into my face. Lying on the grass in the spring sunshine. Grass talks.
Hiding in Campbell’s locker. Popped collars. Sucky preps. Rich bitches.
Spilling paint in the art
room. Ms. Keefer and how she is a slut. Dog tags from your best friend
that clang loudly as you walk. The glory of Emlyn’s bed. Ms.
Donati and attempting to avoid her. Jmo/Emlyn…the greatest couple
ever. Mono (the teacher and the sickness). Snowmen with erections.
Dance-offs in Market Fair…and winning…obviously. Untamed. Sexy
snowdays. Trekking to Hun and hiding on Campbell’s porch. Horse and
Buggy Rides. Travis Blasco. Love Monkey. Meaningful necklaces. Cherry
blossom trees. Therapy. Amazing valentine gifts.
Connorcha. Class with Ethan Steiffel. Love hate gloves and long
scarves. Ugly leather jackets. Sneaking into Poe…repeatedly.
Huge holes in Mark’s pants. My mom attempting to kill Kerr. Kid parties
with little black kids. Katamari. The top of the parking garage. Court.
Atrocious cheer leaders. Climbing huge mounds of dirt. Awkward. The
crew trip and nightly calls to Jmo. Hoe downs. Lunch and dinner at
Hun…everday. Fake marriage liscences. Misongynists. Jmo and I’s
friday night dates. “Donating” to churches. Thongs. Crying. Throwing
ice cream at the wall in angst. The Day of Silence. The amazing Kerr
movie. Test Tube Jackie. Chucking eggs at the neighbor’s roof. Hiding
from crew pasta parties. Sex on the dance floor. Penises galore.
Brilliant Kung Fu movies. Chocolate river of shit and ponchos. Indoor
soccer games with Mark and Riley. The Jeremy song at electronic music
assemblies. Hindle’s hair and crying at the last choir concert. The
great Fe plan and extinguishing it. Going from a 5 hour flight straight
to school. Acting out. Rebelling. Riley Stevenson. Changing of
schedules. Kyle’s car and his
sketchiness. The death of Mr. Holmes. The loss of Ms. Ohm. Tears that
never seemed to begin or end. Losing everything you touch. Epiphanies
and uncontrollable behaviors. Absurdists and oddities. Addictive
relationships. Pain. Hope.
We make mistakes. We make alot of them. We cry alot and we laugh alot. But in the end we live alot.
Losing old friends. Gaining new ones. Crying loudly. Screaming silently.
The things we’ll regret. The things we’ll remember. The things we want
to forget. The things we cannot change. And the things that shape us
into the people we will be tomorrow.
Justify everything. Let go of what must be. Hold on to what’s true.