So what is this? This is the end of sophmore year? What the fuck. Seriously. What the fuck.
Today was strange. This week has taken so much out of me. I can’t even
put in to words…but I’ve used every ounce of myself into cherishing
this. And I feel like I have. And I feel…after all of this…I’m
ready to let go now. School was strange today. Lunch was brilliant. And
went to the secret spot. And laughed together. And classes were
bittersweet. Then like WTF drama 7th period from Jmo and Erica that was
seriously like WTF. Then there was the awards assembly. Then running
Then Amy. Then a final dinner for the year. Then Amy came over. Then
Bryan left for Japan. Andrew was on TV. And wow.
Tomorrow I get to let go of my least favorite class first and my
favorite class last. Seems to make sense. And my favorite person
somewhere in between. That doesn’t make any sense.
Sigh sigh sigh and another one. I guess. Wow. There’s so fucking much to swallow in just one thought. So much. So much.
I just. Well. Now. I think I’ve found peace. Serenity in reality.
Finally. And wholly. I don’t exactly know what other choice I have.
I have no idea how to begin to deal with this year…accept this
year…by far the hardest year of my entire life. Sophmore year…was a
true…atrocity. But not as a whole. As a whole…the year
was…incredibly important. Incredibly tumultuous.
So how to let that go is unfathomable. To just fall onto the hot pavement.
And at the same time…It’s Ms. Ohm’s last day…ever. What is that. That’s a heartbreak and a half.
And at the same time…Caroline and Jon are graduating. And I don’t even know what to do without them.
And at the same time…I have no idea how to possibly let this all go. No idea.
Oh no words now. No words at last. Just falling free and falling fast.
But for now I will fly. Free. Oh free at last.
Bittersweet but finally free.
It’s time now.
Close my eyes and don’t look back.