So. Today was………good.

Haha. We actually had a whole lot of fun.

I was awoken today by Amy ringing the doorbell…at like 9:30…and
then Melissa came…and we left for the dinky at like 10…the three of
us actually got along really
well. The train ride in was really funny…we talked about
sociopaths…and Campbell is definately one…then we got once we got
to penn station…my mom just left us…and the three of us were free
in NYC. Mwahaha. Such a horrible idea hahah. It seemed that I actually
knew my way around the best…which was comforting…it was cool to be
alone in NYC actually…and I really loved it. It didn’t even seem
weird at all. After about a block though…we realized we had no idea
where the fuck we were. We sort of wandered around for a bit…and
spent 3 and a half hours sort of…aimlessly and pathetically walking
and “shopping”…AKA…looking at old women’s clothing and laughing.
Seriously. We went to the all time crappiest stores known to man…and
just made fun of the horrible and expensive clothes. It was good
stuff….Erm…I don’t really remember anything now…let’s
see…highlights….:

-Daffy’s! Hahahaha worst store ever. And we got like trapped in there
and we had no idea how to get out…and were like writhing at the
horror of the clothes
-Hmmm…spent a while in H&M…and dressed up like slutty cowgirls….
-CAO! Er…I think that’s how you spell it…Something against
obesity…we made it up since we were having to walk up so many stairs
-Melissa singing Vindicated over and over again and us having to slap her
-Making fun of Melissa’s songs…hahahah.
-Melissa’s obscene need to pee…and the dumb store that wouldn’t let
us use their bathroom…so melissa was like sitting on the floor in pain
-AAAH. My amazing quest to buy something in 5 minutes…which turned
into sprinting through the mall pushing people over…in search of
something…and then chucking a hat on the floor and sprinting back
outside…only to completely make it in time…wooot. LESS than five
minutes!
-WE RODE BACK TO PENN STATION IN A WHITE STRETCH LIMO. It
was absolutely amazing. My mom’s like ya I’ll come pick you up…look
for me I’ll be in a white stretch limo…and im like wtf. it was the
most random thing ever…but she was there on business…so Giselle got
a limo. Ugh. It was sooo much fun. Because we totally did the amazingly
cliche like…climbing out the top…and riding around in a limo in
NYC…it was lightly raining too…it was so much fun. So cute. It was exhilerating.
-Melissa randomly deciding to go and look at the communist china display…which was actually really disturbing. Hmph.
-Me randomly buying a mafia keychain…cuz I was determined to buy something…woot.

Hmmm…we took the train back…with krispy kremes and auntie
anne’s…and then came back to my house and totally watched Babylon
5…it was amazing…I think amy and missy were a tad scared.
Hmmm……then I don’t really remember the rest of the night…I
actually started like randomly cleaning stuff…it was so strange.
And…talked to people…yup. That was my lovely day.

Eeeek! Here are some amazing pictures of the limo ride…ugh ugggh:

O dear. That’s intense.

Wooo. There’s some cool cats right there.

I love Melissa’s face…what a hottie…and why am I smiling in all these pictures? Hmph.

Aw. How cute. That was beasty.

Hmmm…you can’t really see any of them…that’s ok…I’ll put them on webshots eventually. Woot.

I was planning on writing quite a bit this weekend…thinking quite a
bit…and ultimately dealing with “everything.” Turns out I never quite
found the time…and I’ve realized that coming to terms with all of
this may not happen over night…but now that I have embarked on the
journey…the path seems to be thinning. Coping with all of this was
never easy…but the burden seems to be lessening from my shoulders…I
suppose I just never really knew where to start. I need to start over
now. It’s the only way…and a new semester promises new beginnings.
New possibilities. And the healing of old scars. I can’t forget the
past…and I won’t move on…but I’ll begin to move forward. I know
that somewhere in me…I have the motivation to succeed in school…I
just need to apply myself…and hopefully I can begin to piece together
that train wreck. My relationships will mend themselves once I learn to
mend myself…my character…my spirit…my faith…and regain my
footing. I’ve learned…at this point…there’s no turning back. Things
will never be the same…but at this point…I can only embrace that
fact. I’m not the same…and neither is anything else in my life…but
everything is transitory. Nothing will ever be the same…I can never
go back to the way things were…and I can only face that fact
alone…but with hope. The past will never falter. The more I turn my
back on the reality of my family…the more it hurts me…but the ride
is almost over…and soon I may accept this fate. I can only go up from
here. If I were to keep my head to the ground…I would only end up
falling flat on my face……again. And I’m bruised enough as it is. I
need redemption. I need hope. I need rebirth.

Here we go again. I face tomorrow with open eyes and tearless goodbyes. Rebirth.

I leave with a lovely Bab 5 quote….


“To live on as we have is to leave behind joy, and love, and companionship,
because we know it to be transitory, of the moment. We know it will turn
to ash. Only those, whose lives are brief can imagine that love …
is eternal. … You should embrace that remarkable illusion. It may be the
greatest gift your race has ever received.”

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s