I think it finally hit me. Again. I’m so slow.
I’m alone again. But this time…this time it’s for good. But maybe not…maybe this journey never really ends.
Cousins by birth…friends by choice…best friends by fate. Sisters for life.
Honestly…I’m not exactly sure if I can think of another person who so
wholly encompasses me. All of me. My entire being. Because she’s been
there…from the very start. From the moment I entered the world…she
entered it too. We took our first breathes together and plunged into
this rabbit hole together…holding hands tightly and hoping for the
There’s something about spending a
lifetime with someone. They start to grow on you. Ha. It becomes so
much a part of you. She’s so much a chasm of my heart…entirely
dedicated to her. I think…the past…few years…we’ve changed so
much. Rather…our whole lives…we’ve changed so much…but we. We.
Became. Something much different…something. The time and distance was
too great. But these past few weeks…looking back on
everything…reawakened me. To a time when everything was much simpler.
And she was a different being. And I was a different being. Softer.
Gentler. But very much the same. It really was real. Our lives. Us. And
now…she’ll be out of my life in a flash. But in some way…she can
never leave. She’s never left me…over all these years…we’ve made it
through so much…we can make it over an ocean. I know it.
It’s like the holidays…and overtime it becomes melded to you…so
much enrapturing your life. Your mind. Tradition. But she’s more than
just tradition now. She’s me. And everything I can’t express. And we’ve
missed so much. But we’re seen so much more.
No one…will ever really…compare…or replace.
But no. She will never leave. She will never leave this heart. These memories. These memories are forever.
I’ve lost…so much. It doesn’t really hurt anymore. The pain
has…succumbed to fear…outweighed by reality. And I face it. I faced
it all. One more thing I’ve dropped along the way…
I’ll never lose.