My mind is all so clouded…I need some time. I think right now…I
just need to take off a week and write. Just write everything and
find…many things. But no. No time. The clock is ticking and I’ve got
miles to run.

I find it hard now to genuinly believe that this is real…that the
year has actually come to a close. I’m not sure what to believe
anymore…reality is circling around me like a vulture and I’ve got no
where to hide.

For some reason…I’ve come to realize…I have no hopes. No dreams.
I’ve got no childhood dream to hold onto…to cherish…look back
on…because the one thing that I’m really doing…I hate. And the
things I wish I could have done…I never can. My only
dreams…hopes…revolve around others…revolve around him…you. And
that leaves nothing for me. No goals. No dreams for myself. Nothing to
fight for. Nothing to live for. Except the dream of life…love. But
you can never love me. So I’m left with nothing…again.

I’m not even sure what’s troubling me anymore…maybe the idea that
he’s leaving…maybe the idea that he doesn’t matter…maybe the idea
that it was all just a distraction and now that he’s gone…reality
must once again jump out at me…maybe that I’ve known that all along.
Maybe that now I have to find a new distraction. Maybe simply that I’m
lost. Not in myself…but in others. And in reality. For I refuse to
accept reality…in any way…and I create my own reality. But no.
That’s not what’s troubling me. Maybe it’s not that deep. Maybe it’s
just the wind…piping to me in vain…whistling sweet hums and pumping
out ancient melodies…and with such a foreboding air of summer. Maybe it’s because I never used to be this depressed…Maybe
because I’m not actually this depressed…and maybe because I am. Maybe
because I was always the happy child…Maybe because I wish…hope too
much. Maybe
it’s just the fact that I am left…alone…on a one way road, tied to
the train tracks with everything changing around me and…and the train
is coming. Oh that’s it now isn’t it…the silly misunderstood
teenager. No I could never be that cliched…that ironic. No. Now I’m
just being pretentious. Maybe all that’s upsetting me is me. And maybe
it’s you. Most of all…I think it’s the past…old and haunting…the
future…all that lay ahead…bleak and taunting…and above all…the
present. Simply because…I sit and wonder…how did I get here? What
happened?
 
What went wrong?

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How can you not LOVE Zeigler? Especially when he gives you a free in the library.


Ok so today was sultry. and rob has no pants


THE GOD DAMN COMPUTER IS EATING ITSELF!!!!!


Oasis’ new album: May 31…WOOOOOOOOO! Party in my pants. No joke man.


So today I was assasinated with a machete by the math test…maybe I should have been paying attention the past…semester. oh well….my doodlings are more important.


Apart from that…the choir thing was amazing and lolol i got jmo to film the whole thing HAHAH zoomed in on paul’s face…AHAHAHA…we’re SUCH stalkers…i think it might be a problem. oh well.


I’m so confused by him. He acts so strangely around me…there are so many options…and I can’t live with any of them.


History was HILARIOUS. Omg. I cannot even express. It’s gotten to the point where I try to piss raiford off because its sooo funny when he explodes haha wow. we’re awful. i purposefully didnt respond to his question and the class burst into laughter cuz they knew what i was doing and then he flipped out for 20 minutes and it was amazing.

I guess….I love you.


Stalking is currently hilarious.


Yesterday was AMAZING. Eek so ghetto.


So Jmo (my boyfriend) and I are beastin it up in the computer lab…and we’re having the time of our lives mwa ha haaa…and we’re havin a sexy time with myspace and eeek i heart you.


Jmo: “There’s no way that kid has friends”


Jmo would like to say: I keep bustin strings…and I like it. *giggle*…When it hurts…

This site is no longer safe…DANGER DANGER! Eeeeek *runs away and hides*


My body no longer works.


I’m SOOOO pissed off at him god damn you for not coming you hoe.


Um….Last night was…exhausting…..and ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….i cant think of anything clever to write right now.


I think I need to private my xanga. I’ll try to figure that out…now.


So I guess I can’t make it private…so I guess that means that…well…I give up…I concede defeat already…He knows…He knows everything. Everything and more. And there’s really nothing I can do. So I don’t really care anymore. You know what? I LOVE YOU. There. Alas. I lose. I win. But he’s graduating in 2 weeks and then he’ll be gone so I can’t dwell on it too much…Oh well. My life is over. No point in trying to erase the past.


Yesterday was the most embarrasing day of my…entire life.


No joke.


I need him…Badly.


Alright I REALLLLLLLY have to write about last night at some point in time…but right now I’m so physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted that I don’t even know my own name.


So now. It’s all over. Finally. Probably the craziest 3 weeks of my life…And now I can breathe. But I’ll miss it…it was an adventure…Midsummer seems so long ago now. *Sigh*…Finally done. And now it begins.


❤ You…And you know…

Just because it’s today:







Your Star Wars Name and Title

Your Star Wars Name: Lausu Rosea Your Star Wars Title: Iksvan of Bor


I wish I was excited.


HAHAHAHAHAHA FUNNIEST THING I’VE EVER READ!!!:
























What You Really Think Of Your Friends

Campbell is your soulmate.
You truly love Rob.
You consider Amy your true friend.
You know that Jackie is always thinking of you.
You’ll remember Emlyn for the rest of your life.
You secretly think Mat is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times.
You secretly think that Christina is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker.
You secretly think that Allegra is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Allegra changes lovers faster than underwear.
You secretly think Sam is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Sam has a hidden internet romance.


 

HAHAHAHA Wow. Sam…you gotta tell me about this crazy internet romance

 

 
































































LAURENSUCHENSKI
L is for Luscious
A is for Amazing
U is for Upbeat
R is for Radiant
E is for Elitist
N is for Naughty
S is for Sparkling
U is for Unforgettable
C is for Cheesy
H is for Hyper
E is for Edgy
N is for Nutty
S is for Sappy
K is for Kinky
I is for Impassioned


Weird:







Your Birthdate: May 16
Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone. You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent. You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate. You are introspective and a little stubborn. Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family. This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations. The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you. Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach. You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions. Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection.







Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many. The minute you meet anyone, you can make the crave you almost immediately. You give others the chance to lose control with you… spiraling into carnal bliss. A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.


Apparently I scare people.


Teehee Teehee:







You Know You’re Addicted to Harry Potter When…
You make a wand and try to use it. You call your least favorite teacher Snape. You call your favorite teacher Dumbledore. You wear robes to school or work. You make “floo powder”, get in the fire, and try to go to your friends’ house. You have read all the books more than four times. You’ve been bookstore at midnight to get the latest Harry Potter book before all your friends. … And then you stayed up all night wearing it. You’ve worn a Harry Potter costume in public. You have a crush on one of the Harry Potter characters. You’ve gotten at least one of your friends addicted to Harry Potter. You actually caught the “Wand Order” mistake before you heard/read about it. You are upset at the New York Times for creating a seperate childrens best seller list because of the Harry Potter books. Using clues in the book, you have attempted to find the exact geographical location of Hogwarts. You have constructed a timeline of events in the Harry Potter books. You have attempted to figure out the exact ages of all the Weasley children? You have spent time contemplating which main characters will die by the time the series is over. You’ve been to see all the Harry Potter movies on opening night. (Bonus points for standing in line in costume!) You’ve read Harry Potter fanfic. You’ve written Harry Potter fanfic. You run a Harry Potter fansite. You visit The Leaky Cauldron daily. You’ve met other Harry Potter fans from online in real life. You’ve participated in a Harry Potter RPG. You’ve dreamed about Harry Potter. You have a Harry Potter poster on your wall. Each Halloween, there’s no question what you’ll dress up as…! You’ve spent time doing a timeline to see if you would have been old enough to date a certain character when you were in high school. You’ve vacationed to London, simply to search for the Leaky Cauldron. You own a black lab named Sirius Black. You’ve knitted a Weasley sweater or Harry Potter scarf. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Harry Potter.



Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at Blogthings

*Looks away*


Oh god. So true:







You Know You’re Addicted to AIM When…
Three words: Carpal tunnel syndrome You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences… You’re pissed off your buddy list can only hold 200 screen names You begin to say hehehe instead of laughing You can now type over 70 wpm You type messages to people who are right next to you or on the phone with you. You won’t work at a company that blocks AIM You sign on and immediately get 10 messages from other people You have a few screen names, some of them secret. You type in random screen names, just to see if anyone has them. Your screenname has the year 2002 or earlier in it. You know what %n means You don’t break for the bathroom – even though you’ve got to go real bad – until you think of a witty away message. You check the away messages of your buddies, every day, to make sure they haven’t changed. You have a few people on your buddy list just to spy on them. You’ve had a meaningful conversation with a bot. You learned Photoshop to make a super cool buddy icon You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to AIM.



Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at Blogthings

 

 




Your Girl Parts Are Named: Velvet Love Pocket







Your Boobies’ Names Are: Love Muffins




YOU KNOW IT.


Wow. Ok so today is the show…I’m not really nervous…I just want to think of other things to put in it to make it cooler…This day has been….scandelous…ummm…let’s see…drama was hot…i was too tired….french aaaah i suck so bad….english was….interesting…i did well on my quiz so YAY!…then ummmmm in activitesd LOLOLOOL sam bought cohen and that freaking LOSER didnt even show up. i officially HATE him. hmph. then in bio i was late so im gonna have to do something…what losers….thennnn…ROB IS THE CUTEST PERSON ON THE EARTH CUZ HE MADE ME A CD AND ITS AMAZING…I LOVE HIM.





It’s Not Sex. It’s … :
The Wink Wink Nudge Nudge







Your Porn Star Name is: Candy Coxx




Anyway….ummm….I’M SO FREAKING HUNGRYYYYYYYY AAAAH DIE DIE DIE.I really have so much to write about…booooo…..butttt…theres no time. HMPH. Hoe bag.







Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you’ve been asking me
I think you know what I’ve been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away

Goodnight, my angel
Now it’s time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I’m rocking you to sleep
The water’s dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You’ll always be a part of me

Goodnight, my angel
Now it’s time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me

Someday we’ll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on…
They never die
That’s how you
And I
Will be


Lol I have to admit that I am getting just a TAD sick of the song….but I LOVE it…and I actually love my dance too…so its sooo sexy. HE HAS TO COME. Or else my life will be meaningless.


Alack. Life is grand…Sex week has been awesome…but not all that different…amy and i spent last night:


-Rehearsal from 3-5….fun fun…..
-Then dinner with the loverrrrr
-Cya…rabbit….lolol i had been waiting the whole time to say it…I LOVE YOU. I was sooo happy tho…cuz now we’re actually like…friends…and we’ve had dinner together like 8 times and awww i heart him….and:


Me: Did you get a haircut?
Paul: No…I fell asleep shaving
Me: *Quizzical look*
Paul: No it’s cut…
Me: Why?
Paul: It was getting long…
Me: But I like it long…it looks so much better
Paul and Me: *Longing stare into each others eyes*…*Lucy gets back and sits down….resume eating food*


LOLOL I have no life. Hpefully I didnt say too much…i had to contain myself from being like…YOU LOOK SO HOT WITH LONG HAIR.


Teeheeeteehee…then he was leaving to go to choir and im like “Cya…rabbit” and he came back laughing hysterically and we spent 5 minutes laughing about how much fun the cast party was awwwww…and how im gonna call him rabbit forever..amazing….mwazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ❤ ❤ ❤


OOMMMMG! I JUST LISTENED TO THE MOST AMAZING DANIEL RADCLIFFE INTERVIEW….And it was amazing…because it summed up my life…it was on harry’s love life….and dan is officially the love of my life…*goes off to listen to it again…and again…* he’s saying how even when youre young you’re in love and all this stuff and omg its soo cute and its how i feel toooooo…awwwwwww HOLY FUCK I LOVE HIS FUCKING ACCENT. what he said is just…perfect. *sigh*…*orgasms*


Let’s seee…..so then retarded me decided to go get the CD i left in the theatre…but chboir was in there…so i walk in…completely interuppting their practice…and they all start yelling at me…and i look like a fool for looking for this god damn CD…and to make it better…it wasnt evben freaking there…so i just looked like a loser. s’ok…paul looked adorable.


Then came home and wandered about with amy…ohhh hahahaha we went to the neighborhood ice cream social…and let me just tell youuuuu…..so sexy…ran home (literally)….watched America’s Next Top Model…so scandelous…so dramatic…so sexy….then uhh something else…i dont remember…haha then we went upstairs and di our nails and i made her listen to all my crazy bands…which she liked…and our new favorite song…EVAR.


You just can’t relax
And you can’t rely
on anyone for anything
so you make your complaints
and all everyone’s let you down
you just cant.. ever win
convinced theres a war on, its always everybody versus you
convinced that your critics are watching
and you’ve always got
you’ve always got something to prove
so tie the noose
and raise the cross
the marytr’s arrived
a desperate plea for sympathy
its all you’ll need
laundry list of problems
it doesn’t make you interesting
and never getting help doesn’t make you brave
not listening to reason doesn’t mean that you have faith
your just cutting off your nose to spite your face
so tie the noose
and raise the cross
the marytr has arrived
a desperate plea for sympathy
its all you need
and you want it all
you want it, you want it all (x 10)
 


*COUGH…you know who this song is about…COUGH COUGH COUGH*


OMG!!!!!!!!!i FUCKING HATE JORDAN BROWNING OR W/E THE HELL IT IS…SHE CAN GO GET FUICKING PREGNANT WITH AJ’S BABY AND DIE FROM BIRTH. GARA AEJ KLAJEKAL. DIE DIE DIE.


Well….there certainly was…some……..tension….yesterday in dance….cough cough cough cough


anyway amy and i did our nails like the good old days and had an awesome convo….stayed up till 11:30 talking…which wasnt late…but i havent gotten any sleep…then slept…im soooo tired.


So today’s been a sexpot. I walk into french and we had some completely retarded test which i FAILED.


So THEN there was english which was sooo boring and Campbell officially makes me SICK. hes like all slobbering all over morgan and im like DIE. die. dead.


Then math was kinda boring too. I heart Rob. Rob heart I.


Thennnn…activities…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA The freaking senior auction…which he didnt even do…even tho he told me he was gonna b the auctioneer…LOSER. but it was really funny…molly got like 110 dollars…gallager only got like 20…awwww….but it was hilarious…it was so high school. hahaha allegra and steph were betting on someone and i was so proud of themn


HOLYYYYYYY FUCKKKK IMN WATCHING THE FUCKING GOBLET TRAILER AND IM GOING TO ORGASM ALL OVER THE COMPUTER…AND IM IN THE LAB SO ITS REALLY AWKWARD…OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SCREAM*


Well so then I had my first dissecting adventure. what an adventure.


<3333333333

Words cannot express…so many things happening so fast….CAN’T WAIT FOR MY FREAKNG SOLO I LOVEEE IT…IT’s to Goodnight My Angel by Billy Joel and I knowwww that you’re alll coming…rightttt? 4:30 and 8…its only like a half an hour…anyway gtg..peace

HAPPY 15th BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


“It’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to….”


I canNOT believe that I’m already 15…or I suppose I am…Sort of miss being 14…but now I’m just all the more close to Paul’s age…lol


Today has actually been one of the least…happy…birthdays…I don’t know…maybe I’m just tired…or older…or sad about MSND and Paul…but normally my brithdays are the best day of the year….today is just…i dont have the energy anymore…I’ve lost a bit of life in me…


But it still feels good to have everyone saying Happy Birthday..woooot.


I’ve seen him so much today…like an abnormal amount…It seems a sign…I don’t know…maybe I’m crazy. I think that’s it.


So today:


Woke up at like i dunno 7:30 with amy…got to math a little late…i felt bad…for amy…then math was boring…history we watched a realllllly boring movie so i had to leave…saw paul in the library and i was walking past we were both watching each other from across the room out of the corner of our eyes…awww…then griffin and i were waiting outside and he walked over and asked us what we were doing and stuff and stuff….Things are so weird now…I don’t know what to do. Oh well. Life goes on. Drama was fun…lol I found a huge pile of my clothes in the theatre…i suck at that part…lol wow…what an awful play…oh well. then activities we had an assembly…kinda boring…but i didnt see him at all *sigh*….thennnn….bio was only like 15 minutes up at the gazebo…and we had lunch….lol that class is so freaking worthless…and the people are so retarded…lol wow…then i spent the rest of 4th and 5th in the lab…


I’m excited for dance rehearsal today…cuz I get to do my dance…WOOOOT. Hopefully Amy can help me with it.


Yesterday was such a depressing day…I came home…cried…slept…cried…slept…cried…slept…and wrote on my xanga. But it was SO good because I REALLLLLY needed that day to recover.


There are Giants In the Sky.


He can’t leave me.


*CRYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!* THE CLEARED THE STAGE!! MY BEAUTIFULLLL STAGE!! *weeeep* I feel so bad…cuz I never got to say goodbye to it…i walked off the last curtain call and then never saw it again…and didnt get any pictures of it either….*sigh*…so upsetting…I guess that’s the nature of life.


What’s so intriguing…or half so fatiguing..as what’s out of reach…Out of reach…


Lolol he knows that I stalk him now.


The difference between a cow and a bean is a bean can begin an ADVENTURE! (lol awww memories)


AAAAAAAAA HOLY FUCK I LOST MY FREAKING FAIRY NECKLACE. Boo. I guess it’s symbolic.


Oh god I love you. Oh I’ll miss you so much.


I guess this is goodbye, old pal,
You’ve been a perfect friend.
I hate to have to part, old pal,
Some day I’ll buy you back.
I’ll see you soon again.
I hope that when I do,
It won’t be on a plate.



If you know
What you want,
Then you go
And you find it
And you get it-

And you give
And you take
And you bid
And you bargain
Or youl ive
To regret it.

There are rights and wrongs
And in-betweens-
No one waits
When fortune intervenes.
Amd maybe they’re really magic,
Who knows?

Why you do
What you do,
That’s the point:
All the rest of it
Is chatter.


As of 10:11…I’M 15. Score.


OMG INTO THE WOODS IS THE BEST MUSICAL IN THE WORLD.


Grrr I’m pissed I couldn’t do the open air theatre one. Hmph.


I’m back into reality. Back into the old Lauren. Back into the old Paul. It truly was a dream.


This was just a moment in the woods.
Our moment,
Shimmering and lovely and sad.
Leave the moment, just be glad
For the moment that we had.
Every moment is of moment
When you’re in the woods…

Goodbye.


I didn’t really tell anyone it was my birthday…so no one really knows…but it’s alright…


Lol so Christina and I are in the bathroom talking about my love for Paul and how I think he’s the “one” (im SUCH a loser) and all this stuff and im going on and on…i walk out of the bathroom…and there’s paul…standing there…like listening to our convo…and he quickly runs away…SOOO FUCKING BAD.


I’ve fallen in love with the real man.


If I dare,
It’s because I’m becoming
Aware of us
As a pair of us,
Each accepting a share
Of what’s there.



We’ve changed.
We’re strangers.
I’m meeting you in the woods.
Who minds
What dangers?
I know we’ll get past the woods.
And once we’re past,
Lets’ hope the changes last

Beyond woods,
Beyond witches and slippers and hoods,
Just the two of us-
Beyond lies,
Safe at home with out beautiful prize,
Just the few of us.

It takes trust.
It takes just
A bit more
And we’re done.
We want four,
We had none.
We’ve got three.
We need one.
It takes two.


The farther you run…the more you feel undefined…from what you have left undone…but more, from what you have left…behind.


I’m glad certain people weren’t at the cast party….*evil*


It feels as if…all of this…these past two months…Saturday night…was all a dream. Was it a dream? And this was the greatest time of my life. That was it. That was my moment. That’s what I had been waiting for. And it was beyond comprehension. Beyond a dream…


If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber’d here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If we have unearned luck
Now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else the Puck a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.
     — A Midsummer Night’s Dream


What was that?

Was that me?
Was that him?
Did a Prince really kiss me?
And kiss me?
And kiss me?
And did I kiss him back?

Was it wrong?
Am I mad?
Is that all?
Does he miss me?
Was he suddenly
Getting bored with me?

Wake up! Stop dreaming.
Stop prancing about the woods.
It’s not besseming.
What is it about the woods?

Back to life, back to sense,
Back to child, back to husband,
You can’t live in the woods.
There are vows, there are ties,
There are needs, there are standards,
There are shouldn’ts and shoulds.

Why not both instead?
There’s the answer, if you’re clever:
have a child for warmth,
And a Baker for bread,
And a Prince for whatever-
Never!
It’s these woods.

Face the facts, find the boy,
Join the group, stop the Giant-
Just get out of these woods.
Was that him? yes it was.
Was that me? No it wasn’t,
Just a trick of the woods.

Just a moment,
One peculiar passing moment…
Must it all be either less or more,
Either plain or grand?
Is it always “or”?
Is it never “and”?
That’s what woods are for:
For those moments in the woods…

Oh, if life were made of moments,
Even now and then a bad one-!
But if life were only moments,
Then you’d never know you had one.

First a Witch, then a child,
Then a Prince, then a moment-
Who can live in the woods?
And to get what you wish,
Only just for a moment-
These are dangerous woods…

Let the moment go…
Don’t forget it for a moment, though.
Just remembering you’ve had and “and”,
When you’re back to “or”,
Makes the “or” mean more
Than it did before.
Now I understand-

And it’s time to leave the woods.


It’s time now. Time to leave the woods…the fairyland…and time to leave him. Leave him behind…but never let go…and never forget…for if it’s meant to be…I’ll never be able to forget.

FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH.


I sense something…Something’s going to happen…I KNOW IT.


1 Day left of being a virgin…teehee teehee


Hey hey there…I’m am SOOO freaking exhausted today. Let’s see….I was 25 minutes late to Raiford…lol he didnt even notice…i luv it….raiford was crazy again today…i was staring into space for like 15 minutes tho…then in drama the play was interesting…we really need ms ohm to direct it…were hopeless without her…and umm…french was soooo boring omg. and i was gonna kill the saaster she was driving me INSANE. activities we had our last “peer leaders”…ever…but they didnt show…they sucked….we just talked….then lol brent the loser put a sign up that class was cancelled and we all hid in the bio room with the lights off and bridgette was like 15 minutes late so we all laughed…it was completely retarded…i love how everyone in that class thinks theyre SOOOO cool. but theyre all SOOOO retarded. lol wow. except for connor….choi is a beast of life. <333 baby johnnn. now its 5th…and im bored…and im excited for tonight..actually…im mainly just tired…


I saw him a few times today…he’s so beautiful…he makes me cry…


I only get to say these beautiful words 2 more times…Make it worth it…it’ll be over so soon. I actually get to be a fairy…it’s a amazing…it’s a blessing…I want to cherish every moment.


OMG!!!!!!! WHERE DID I PUT MY NECKLACEEEE????? eeeek. *shriek*


“You’ll always be a part of me…”


Sex week begins…NOW.

I don’t understand how my life gets better and better…And I don’t understand how I will EVER be able to replicate these feelings…these emotions…the pure intoxication of the stage. I’ll never forget.


*Sigh*


WE KICKED SOME SERIOUS ASSSS.


Even tho I kinda thought I was kinda sucky…THE PLAY WAS AMAZING. And there were SOOO many laughs…I was so god damn proud! Of every single person.


Let’s see….Highlights:::::


-Sushiiiii wooot…drove in with andrea….her first time driving lol…parallel parking was beastiiiin…sat with newsome, lucy, joe, dan, sam and meeee…partaaay…and the immense california rolls…and SOMEONE being annoying…and joe and dan being obsessed with movies…and the tip fiasco…lol OMG dan is such an ebrassament lolol we cant take him out in public.
-We shared a look god damn it!!!!
-Mr. Brightside and 1, 2 Step…awww good times…craaazy times….
-Intense make upnessness
-OMG OPENING NIGHT.
-Lol Dan’s amazing warm up…RICKIEAJKTAJBOOO…And I’m so much better at warming up then him teehee…
-I love them men.
-Lol Sam’s delegation…….
-Mmmm…ok squeeze
-EEEEK. SO SEXINESSSSS. My scene was beastin…lol i tripped up the stairs…
-AAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA DAN BROKE THE SWORD!!!!!!!!!!! But he covered it up soooooo well actually. ❤
-Lol I wiped his forehead…we were violent in the bower scene.
-He covered up peaseblossom messup really well too
-SOMEONE was FLIPPING out over ONE line…and omg….calm down…stop being a diva.
-They cut off our fairy dance!!! BOOO. Then that following scene SUCKEDDDDDDDDD sooo bad. S’ok…itll only get better
-OMG I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART.
-Apparently I can’t act cuz everyone’s like…you’re…um….uhhh….you’re fairy dance was good! and ignores the acting…oh well…i knew i sucked from the beginning…i only did it for one reason lololol…which turned into a million reasons…and now i dont regret a moment.
-HE TRIED TO FREAKING HUG ME AND I REJECTED HIM BECAUSE IM SOOOO FREAKING RETARDED THAT I DONT KNOW ANYTHINGGGGGGG
-I cant live without him
-lol he fell off stage…awww so did newsome…awwwww!


I still cannot ACTUALLY believe that tonight was opening night…it’s still setting in…And I can still smell the stage. Hell week is SOOO worth it. Everything is worth it.


I really need the time to actually write these things out.


Sex week begins tomorrow. *SHRIEK*


*Faints*


Adieu…Adieu…Adieu…..


Never forget…<3