Blek. Crazy day.
So I’m in French…and e-mailing Leg profusely…OOOMG fucking ms murphy is our sub and i HATEEE her with a passion…
today was exasperating…i didnt have one moment free….lets
see….english first…we presented our sexy plays…ummm…it was
hot…i didnt know what i was doing and i relaly hope arthie isnt mad
Some people tell the most worthless stories.
Math was kinda boring…i got in trouble for reading MSND…and then
we did stuff…hot…i heart jackie…Rob has issues…History was
ABSOLUTELY retarded…Mr Raiford needs to go like…eat some sausage…
EEEEK! I have so much to write
Alright so then I had a sexy meeting with Dr. Byer during
activities…and it was hot…our whole peer group was supposed to come
but no one showed up except for me, connor, jake and jeff…it was
awkward….Dr. Byer asked me questions and i gave the stupidest
answers…oh well…it was kinda fun…i guess….but then i was like
15 mintues late to Bio and I felt bad cuz i didn’t exactly tell him
where I’d been so I was just…yea…and then for some strange reason I
went into some sort of trance for like al of bio class and i was
feeling all depressy and angsty and i went and sat in the back corner
and gave people menacing stares…and then i randomly and completely
answered one of his questions without raising my hand sounding all
bored and rebelious and evil and scurry…it was SO weird…that was
the only thing i said all class and zieg gave me a weird look…i dont
no what was going on…
Anywayyyy….then I had to run up to give a tour…Alix and I toured
these Italians around the Middle School and they spoke noooo english so
it was retarded….we were giving like hand motions and stuff…it was
amazing…i said some pretty stupid stuff too…prolly cuz i knew they
cudnt understand me…but alix must have thought i was retarded:
Alix: This is the book store…
Me: And you can…buy…books here…
Alix: So this is the English room
Me: So why don’t you go in and…”feel around”
lol. wow. i have issues
then i ran up to lunch for 15 minutes….first i had to sit alone
but then chrissy and sam came…we’re gonna have so much fun! paul
looked hot today…on the way down christina told me all about her
conversation with paul…i STILL have issues.
then i took the english test which was actually really
easy…like…too easy…like…im SURE it was a trick…and he’s
like…alright you may not have enough time…but ill write u a
note…and then i finished in like 10 minutes…it was awkward…
Awkward is my new word.
Phrases from Easter Vacation ’05:
-Your mom goes to college
-“What can I do to make you love me?”
-Pop it in and pull it out
-You put the lime in the coke, you nut
-YEA THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME!
Sexy sexy times.
WHOA….The computer is staying on so long! This is a miracle!
Then drama ms ohm wasnt here so we had mr. bush sub and we worked on the play…
I realized at the end of this school year…I will have done 7 different shows this year…already…is that a little obscene?
-Hun Fall dance
-West Side Story
-Midsummer’s Night Dream
-Hun Spring dance
I guess it’s good for the colleges…Yale here I come.
Then french was stupid too…the saaster was gone but ms murphy
subbed and we went to the library…and then lolol the funniest thing
ever…ms murphy made me stay behind to fix the books…o i guess u had
to be there….but i was gonna kill her…no joke…and hahahaha morgan
and i were THIS close to skipping class…we went wandering around and
then she found us and we made up a lame excuse…hotness….
I think I’m missing my wings.
That was a hot day…then I wandered around and hung out with my
sexy people….AAAAAAAH ROB BROKE MY FINGER….I hate him. He was
praising Bush so I just HAD to do something so I took my belt and beat
him….then he beat me…it was upsetting…Then ummm we went down to
Quyen’s and ummm i love Jon…and Jmo is sex….and it was beastin all
the day long…then alot of ppl left and Sam and I wandered profusely.
I’m still in Emlyn mode.
Lol it was the funniest thing ever…Paul was in the library so Sam
and I walked back and forth in front of the library at like 48392048201
times. And we were talking loudly in front of the door about all sorts
of stupid things…it was amazing…we must have spent like 4 hours
there. Then we went up to the mall (I’M SORRY MAT! You can beat me) and
practiced lines and watched Rob play tennis so we could make fun of
him…It was fun…i love sammy….then we sat on the benches and had a
long talk….secrets came out…woot. eat me. then more paul
stalking….GOD i love that….lol it was so funny when sam and i were
talking in the bathrooma nd then liz comes out….oooook u def had to
Tomorrow’s the first day of MSND rehearsal…I’m really
nervous…Nervous for my acting…nervous for what is to come…nervous
for what I’ll do…and what I’ll never do…and nervous for what I’ll
regret doing…and regret not doing. I can’t say what these months hold
in store…but memories will be created…And we are gonna have SO MUCH
I only get to write this moment once…
One day I’ll look back…
Then uhhhhhh….*think think*….wandering…assualt of Campbell’s
house….hahaha the funniest thing…Rylie was crying so we ran over to
her to comfort her and she started running away and then she started
crying even more and calling us “Monstars!” wow. we suck at life.
My hair feels nice.
uhhhhhhhh….Then we had dinner…which was oh-so-much fun. lol it
was actually one of the most hilarious things ever. Me, Campbell Rob
and Sam talking about sex profusely for 45 minutes straight. We
couldn’t go 5 seconds without talking abotu sex…trust me…we tried.
“I masturbate with…the ceiling fan…” and “Yea but I juiced on
Amy”….”Then he just blew ALL over Amy and she was just sopping
wet…” “Yea but I juiced on Amy”…”PENIS!”…”Yea but I juiced on
Amy…then framed it…” Sry Amesly.
Then I came home…had fried chicken…and watched hours and hours
of Ed. The BEST episode in ALL of ANY TV show…ever. I LOVE that
episode with a passion. Then watched Gilmore Girls…then INDIANA
JONES…RAIDERS!!! Yes. That’s what I grew up on. That’s my Bible.
Along with Star Wars. Once a dork…always a dork.
“Burger me.” – Mike Burton
GREATEST MOMENT IN ALLLLLLLL OF ED:
My one chance at something vaguely resembling happiness, and you destroyed it.
You ruined my wedding, and… and you made me lose Dennis.
How could I have ruined your wedding? I wasn’t even there.
Of course you were there. You’re always there. Because no matter what I try to do Ed Stevens is always there.
I… I don’t know… I don’t know what you’re so upset about.
Ed, do you want to know why Dennis walked out of the wedding?
I’ll tell you why. I’ll… I’ll tell you why! Because he thought I was
looking around the church for you. He thought I was looking for Ed
Yeah. Yeah, I was.
Because you never stop. It’s been this way ever since you came back to
Stuckeyville. You didn’t even know me. Ed, you did not even know me,
and yet you made it your life’s work to just, to wear me down. It’s
like, it’s like you crawled into my skull, and you found a nice, comfy
little place to rest, and you refuse to leave. No matter what I said,
no matter what I did, you just never stopped coming after me. You, you
just never stopped!
You never wanted me to stop! And you wanted me to stop. It’s true
Carol. I did all these things. I dressed up as a knight. I sang. I
danced. I threw waffles at your bedroom window. I hired a skywriter. I
got up on a horse named Crazy Jimmy, and you loved it. You loved it.
And you hated it. Because you didn’t think you deserved it. And you
know what Carol? You were right.
*Tries to kiss Ed* What, what are you doing?
I don’t know. I don’t know.
Carol, look at me. I’m dying. I gotta get off this ride.
AAAAAH YOU MUST WATCH! IT IS GOD. And it is amazing. And this really
makes NO sense at all unless you watch the show…oh well….Jackie
will get it. ❤
Oh and this…Just for kicks:
A relationship like ours can’t work; things buried deep down are bound
to come to the surface and destroy us. It’s like building on an ancient
O.M.H.F.G. I WAS JUST ON A WEBSITE AND I REALIZED THAT MY ALL-TIME
FAVORITE EPISODE OF ED IS EPISODE 52. ITS A SIGN! A SIGN!!!!!!!!!!!! A
SIGN I TELL YOU!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAH:
“Phil, I am not a ceramic poodle!”
“Is the Carol-iron finally hot and if so, should I strike or WAS the Carol-iron hot and I missed striking?”
“We could slip them a mickey. I don’t know what exactly a mickey is, but I do know you slip them to people.”
“I’m going to
proceed to pummell Mike with my bare fists till the soul rises from his
body, then I’m going to grab his soul by the neck and start giving it
open handed slaps-“
Eli: “You ain’t gonna fire no brother in a wheelchair!”
Phil: “Or a very, very light skinned brother who’s allergic to cat dander.”
“You came at me with teeth bared, foaming at the mouth, like a rabid badger!”
“My honest opinion is you’re in love with some ideal version of me that I can’t possibly live up to.”
– Carol (This quote represents me in NOOOO way shape or form)
Sry. I went a little over board with the Ed quotes….i just couldn’t help myself.
And I need to sleep.. It’s one o’clock and school is far too soon.
And I’ve realized oh-so-many things. And I’ve seen so many things. And I understand so much more.
Things are finally looking up.
lil0mis0devil: today was a really good day fer me
AnInnocentBanjo: me too
AnInnocentBanjo: i actualy feel like things are looking up
lil0mis0devil: it looks like things are finnally getting better!
I can’t really put it into words…It’s these fragments of pain and
emotion that over the months have melded together…to form this
scultpure of confidence and trust…beyond anything I could have
imagined. Yes. Maybe the light is beginning to shine through. Yes. Maybe there is hope. God,
everyone knows I need it.
I suppose I’ll always be the friend. Never the girl.
This group of ours. These outcasts…rebels…dreamers…we seem to
have connected the thread running through us once and for all…let go
of the petty pains and dramas that shook the boundaries…this twisted
sense of reality that tied us together…has become a foundation…and
words resonate in my head: “You grew up with them”…We did. There’s
something magical in that. We’ll always have that bond…that
power…no matter what happens…I can see myself…with them…the
rest of high school…and we’ll never forget these memories we’ve
forged…once we’ve left this school and are married with
children…we’ll remember those days watching the red, glossy sunset
down on a
grassy patch with 5 year old Tucker running circles around us. Our
first loves…first heartbreaks…first suicide attempt…first step at
overcoming. It’s a journey…and we’ll never forget it. I promise I
won’t take any more of it for granted…or leave you behind. And I
PROMISE I’ll stop being so god damn corny. lol
And I want to write. Passion. I think I’ve found it…finally. It’s
been right here in front of me ALL this time. No. I don’t want to
write. I need to write. It’s this element inside of me that yearns to
be let loose…it’s like food and water and I starve without it.
Writing makes me feel better…soothes the pain…and let’s me let go.
It’s something still waiting for me. And it’s waiting to fly. For the
first time in my life…I’ve realized something definate…something
I’m a writer.