Greatest/longest day ever. Getting home at 11:30 I have to say, is new
for me. Oh yes. It has begun. Oh has it ever. This won’t stop till I’m
crying my eyes out and falling asleep on Lucy’s shoulder.

9 hours of rehearsal=priceless

I can’t believe its so soon. It’s flying by and I can’t stand
it…I
want this moment burned into my memory and I want these people to never
leave and I want the dust to never settle from the stage. I want the
makeup to never smudge and I want the lights to never dim and I want
the audience to never clap and I want him. Him and all of him. I want
to remain transfixed in this moment. For as long as I live.

Today I decided something. Something all at once became clear to me.
This. Ms. Ohm wanted be to stand on stage for the cue to cues…and as
I stood center stage on the black stage with the glorious set behind me
and the pitch black audience in front of me. The audience. Waited. With
bated breath. “59, 45, 66”. The lights exploded. Brilliant greens and
blues and reds. And I stared up at those stars like I’d never be happy
again. And I let them penetrate my skin, sink into my fibers and
overtake me. I stared up at those lights, and out at that
audience…And I smiled. The first real smile I’d had in a while. I
watched those blinding lights flicker in and out…And I knew. This is
where I belong. This is what I want to do with my life. For a
moment…it all seemed clear. If this is all I have in my life…It’s
enough. Just to be on that stage…I realize the only times I’m ever
really happy are when I’m up there…When those lights are blazing and
the music is blaring and I forget my being and just live. Yes. I’ve
made up my mind. Today I decided something.