Goodbye to another year…You sucked. ONTO 2005!

*Ill finish this when I get back from my party*

I think it’s time. The final Top 5 at 5. *Sniffle*

Top 5 Most Shocking Moments of 2004:

5.
4. Cute Couples: Those that lasted, and those that didn’t- Richard and
Christina (aww), Marteki and Andrew (aww), Christina and Josh (…),
Allegra and Choi (heh), Mary and Scott/Ben (eh…), ___ and ________
who shall, at this time, remain nameless (*sigh*), Bob and Jackie!
(teehee), Sarah and Adam (Bah!), Miles and Sam/Shadow (awwwww!), Cat
and Josh (uhhh), Me and…a piece of cheese, who shall not be
named…(*Cough*) and of course, where would we be without Laura and
JT! (R.I.P)- the break up that shocked the world *cry*
3.
2.
1.

FINISH LATER YO sry

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I had the strangest dream last night. I don’t remember all the details
and it’s slowing ebbing away from me so I’ll just give the idea. It was
not, in fact, that none of this had ever happened…Yet they had
miraculously and effortlessly gotten back together. Sitting on the
porch in each other’s arms. I suppose better than they had been before.
Then we picked out a huge victorian house and all lived happily ever
after. Don’t ask how, for in the mind of a dreamer anything’s possible.
At this point I’ve come to observe that phrase…Happily Ever After.
It’s surprising, to me, and I’m sure to most of you that know me, that
this is the first time I’ve had this dream…since it began. And I have
yet to wish it had never happened at all. I suppose the spark went
out…Perhaps I’ve finally come to terms with reality. I knew this was
real, I knew this was different. Different from a boy with a field
hockey stick in the rain (heh)…I’ve hid myself from the world for too
long. And now that I’ve seen the truth, maybe my dreaming days our
over. I’ve given up on love. At least, my love. What if there’s no such
thing as happily ever after. There wasn’t for them. Why should there be
for me? No, maybe I’ll give up on the mistletoe and the cherry blossoms
and the dreams. For that’s all it really is…a dream. And as our
goddess JK (or was it Steve Kloves?) once said “It does not do to dwell
on dreams and forget to live.” When the curtains fall down, I see my
life has been a lie. Exaggerations, dreams, and smiles…but that’s all
I have. That’s all I ever have. So maybe it’s most important right now
to cling to Happily Ever After. Maybe not. Maybe it’s just torture. Oh,
reality. If only I’d been born without it. Then nothingness…so
somewhere in the ruble…I have to find my happily ever after…in
reality. But I’ve given up now and forgotten how to care. Forgotten the
purpose and the reason to smile. Never forgotten how to dream or how to
smile, but I’ve crossed the point of no return. It’s not hell. But it’s
no fairytale. Perhaps I was simply born in the wrong time. I was meant
to be born at the turn of the century in England and skip around in
dresses…or in the twenties and find a summer love. I was meant to be
born in the middle ages and be a damsel in distress somewhere off in a
forest. But what if that’s not even real either. Everything’s better in
the movies. What if I wasn’t meant for anything. I blame Mat. But for
now, my heart has grown cold. It’s not that I’ve forgotten how to
love…but reality has struck me down and the dreamer is in a deep
sleep. Looks like I may be waking soon. Maybe this dream wasn’t so
strange after all. Maybe the facts and the lies are just as
beautiful…together, in an Ever After…We’ll work on the Happily.

Look, I know I already posted these…but I just can’t resist:


I was waiting for a cross-town train in the london underground
When it struck me that I’ve been waiting since birth to find
A love that would look and sound like a movie so I changed
My plans and rented a camera and a van and then I called you
“I need you to pretend that we are in love again” and you agreed to

I want so badly to believe that “there is truth, that love is real”
And I want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd
I greased the lens and framed the shot using a friend as my stand-in
The script it called for rain but it was clear that day so we faked it
The marker snapped and I yelled “quiet on the set”
And then called “action!”
And I kissed you in a style that clark gable would have admired
(I thought it classic)

I want so badly to believe that “there is truth, that love is real”
And I want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd
I know you’re wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?- Clark Gable, The Postal Service

Fitting, no? That’s what I thought you’d say.

Chapter Nine Status: 14 pages…attempted to work on it while Sarah was here…let’s just say it’s not too easy.
Estimated Finish: If I set my mind to it, I can just finish it
tonight…I guess…I don’t know we’ll have to see…I might pull an
all nighter again…
Don’t be expecting too much from it…I know I’ve been working on it a long time…but it’s not that great. luv yaaaa

Jackie is officially the coolest person ever. Let’s all bow down at her feet.

Originally from my LJ…which no one is to know about…changed it a bit:

FIRSTS:
First best friend: Emlyn
First car: The Barbie car
First break-up: That’s….hot…
First screen name: shushinshki (warren times)
First self purchased album: Um…I have no idea
First funeral: Great Grandma Rogers
First pets: FISHY!
First piercing/tattoo: Ears…and then of course my tatoo of Rotten peaches on my butt
First credit card: Platinum…baby
First true love: Sigh…I cannot reveal that information yet it is probably Pavilion…
First enemy: Well…I would say ___ (LAUGH) but on the off chance she sees this then…Mat…Or a girl named Mitchell
First big trip: Japan
First musician you remember hearing in your house: Freakers
LASTS:
Last car ride: Hm…AAAH! My dad driving me home from The Series…aaah!
Last kiss: My dream…
Last library book checked out: One hot beast version 3.7
Last movie seen: Oh. Baby. Win a Date With Tad Hamilton- GUARD YOUR CARDINAL TREASURE EM!…no actually…The Series. Oh baby.
Last beverage drank: Cherry coke my wonton
Last food consumed: Mmmm….RITZ
Last time showered: Earlier today…
Last shoes worn: Eeek…some…sexy ones…
Last
cd played: Woot! Flickerstick-Tarantula…BEASTIN YO…Unless you count my iPod
which would include a mountain of juices…like…LES INFO!
Last item bought: Mmm…Flickerstick CD hehe
Last annoyance: My cheeseball…AKA…Me padre
Last
disappointment: Finding out that super tampons are EVIL…No jk…I
wouldn’t say that on xanga…I mean…Shit I just did…Shit I just
cursed…I’m not like this usually people…
Last time wanting to die: When the world fell apart…
Last time scolded: Hm…let’s think…
Last shirt worn: Um…the one I’m wearing…No Jon, I’m not naked…It’s like…red yo…
Last website visited: Uh…Xanga…Wasn’t that deep…

LAYER.1
Name: Ren Merkvits…Jane Radcliffe…

Not satisfactory??? What! Such nonsense you speak.

FINE THEN. Lauren Suchenski…Not that you’re supposed to know that…And believe me, I didn’t go quietly…
Birthdate: May 16th
Birthplace: Seattle
Current location: Princeton
Eyes: Green
Hair: Hot…
Height: Like 5’10…Taller than you…Shorter than them…That good enough?
Righty or Lefty: Righty…up in thur
Zodiac Sign: Taurus baby

LAYER.2
Your shoes you wore today: No shoes! Shoes are for the weak!
Your fears: Losing you again…
Your perfect pizza: Pizza!!!!! Yum!!!!!!! That reminds me…I should go get some…
Goal you’d like to achieve: *Sigh*… Get it all back…

LAYER.3
Your
thoughts first waking up: That was just a dream…So sad…Ah! It’s 3 O’clock!
Your best physical feature: My hm hm hm…Did I just say that out loud? I was…Kidding…
Your bedtime: Whenever I O…
Your most missed memory: *Goes into a trance*…Must I even say these things?…
The moment before all this…

LAYER.4
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi. Oh. Babies. Go Frito!
McDonald’s or Burger King: White Castle…Not that I do…Burger King…That made no sense did it…
Single or group dates: Orgies…The B Room…
Single.
Adidas or Nike: Neither…Ur mom.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: What does that even mean?
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla……..Ice Ice baby…*Sigh* Good times…
Cappuccino
or coffee: Uh…Right…I’m sure you think you do…I can’t answer that
seeing as I don’t drink coffee…Ask Rob. No! No wait, don’t talk to
Rob…

LAYER.5
Smoke: *Gags*
Drink: Oh man…All the time…Why do people always think I’m drunk Em!!!
Cuss: *Sigh* Mother fucker…of course not
Sing: Oh baby!!!!!!!!!!! Buy our 3rd CD NOW!
Take showers daily: Only if there’s pole dancing involved
Think you’ve been in love: *Sugh* U.
Want to go college: YALE HERE I COME!!!!!!!! You can’t stop me!
Want to get married: …Hopeless Romantic…
Believe in yourself: Uh…no
Get motion sickness: Not really…Not with how fast I go with you know what…Wait…I’m shutting up now.
Think you’re attractive: I am an ugly duckling with nose hairs
Think you’re a health freak: HA!
Get along with your parents: Another sigh…parents?…what parents?
Like thunderstorms: The best!
Play an instrument: Uh…I played the violin for 5 years…

Layer.6 – In the Past Month..
Had sex: Are you kidding me?…Banjo…
Gone to the mall: Mmmhm
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: YEA BABY!!!
Eaten sushi: Only everyday for a month straight
Been on stage: Of course! My one joy in life!
Gone skating: All over you
Made homemade cookies: Woot! Em and I are hot cooks…Cheese cookies…Mmm…I put CheeseWiz in the batter once…bad
Gone skinny dipping: Everyday…Everywhere…Every barn yard gate
Dyed your hair: HIGHLIGHTS!! PARTY!
Stolen anything: Other than peoples minds…No…

Layer.7 – Have You Ever..
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Intoxicate me now…With your lovin’ now…I think I’m ready now…….No.
Been called a tease: Uh…
Got beaten up: In my womb

Jackie’s hot.

LAYER.8
Age you hope to be married: Young
Number and name of children: Actually just one…the name is…….HOSE
Dream wedding: *Sigh*…Japan?…On a hilltop? I don’t know…
How do you want to die: Tragically young.
Where do you want to attend college: YALE! YALE! YALE! YALE! I’M COMING! YOU JUST WAIT! YOU WON’T KNOW WHAT HIT YA!
Dream joblife: *Sigh*…My childhood dream…Strange though it is…To work at NASA…Or the Department of Mysteries…Of course
Country you want to visit: Japan was my dream…Second most would be…Britain- Duh!
Stalking Daniel Radcliffe is my life!

LAYER.9 – In a Guy/Girl
Best eye color: Blue.
Best hair color: Blonde. (I’m so typical…and yet…not…)
Short or long hair: Hot
Height: Doesn’t matter
Best weight: Sumo wrestlers turn me on…
Best clothing: Tight long sleeved black shirt…*Sigh*
Best first date location: O god…So many choices…
Best first kiss location: Wow. What a question……In reality…A beautiful reality though…Ok ok…so there’s:

1. Top of a ferris wheel
2. In the pouring rain
3. Under mistletoe
4. hahaha During an eclipse (hehe)
5. Top of a mountain
6. During fireworks
7. Knight in shining armor!
8. LOCKER SLAM! (courtesy of Cory and Tapanga)
9. Infront of a sunset
10. On the mall!!! (not in it haha)
11. In the woods!!!
12. Cherry Blossoms. Just cherry blosssoms.

LAYER.10
Number of people I could trust with my life: A number? 5.
Number of CDs that I own: What kind of a question is that?
Number of piercings: Uh…1?
Number of times my name’s been in the news: Too many…Stalkers…I think about 5…I’m so famous…
Number of scars on my body: Outside? A few- I was a rascly devil…Inside? Too many.
Number of things in my past that I regret: How do I answer that?…Too many to say
Number of girls you’ve kissed: Uh…what happens in that house…stays in that house…
Number
of boys you’ve kissed: Oh my…Wellllll…First there was Tom, then
Joe, then Hose, then Rutebegga, then that Wigggle, then Wilson, Palmer,
Daniel Radcliffe…I’d say about 52…roughly…

What a beast.

Alright…Sarah’s coming over soon and is sleeping over…no comment…

Wow. Things have been crazy. I haven’t had much time to think.
Christmas eve we opened presents and went to church. Everything was a
bit surreal and haunting. He was supposed to be there. This was not
supposed to happen. But as Mat can recollect, my life hasn’t exactly
been on schedule lately.

Then Christmas morning hehe I slept in until 1 and opened my stocking.
Lots of funness. I had been appalled the previous day that I didn’t get
Harry Potter, but I got it in my stocking so I was happy. I sort of
broke down just before we opened presents. It’s been a long, hard year
I suppose. Didn’t get much for Christmas this year, but it’s alright.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that money is truly an object. I still
had my mother. And in pieces though it was, we had a family, and I
suppose that’s what Christmas is really about.

We then took a trip down memory lane and watched the Wa Wa wow wo
wibble wobble woo movie…yeaaaaa….Don’t ask. Since it somehow made
sense  in my Mom’s head that it would hurt us too much to see a
movie about a womanizer on Christmas day, the women of the household
saw Phantom of the Opera, while the men saw The Avaitor. It was good,
though I wasn’t really in the mood for it. I believe we played some
strange Spy game when we got home- another one of mom’s hard attempts
for us to all to somehow fail to notice how harsh this Christmas was. I
was Spanish…Bryan that cheater won. Loser. haha. We finished with
Pink Panther and some hot Mario Tennis…mom and I rocked the house.
Christmas was…different.

Sunday was shopping day in which I spent all my Christmas money in one
day- the fastest I’ve ever spent it. Shameful. But I got some fun
stuff. 4 pairs of earrings, a hot jacket, some sexy shirts, you
know…The day was long and fun. Finally got the Sims 2 only to find
out it won’t work on my crapass computer. I’ll have to ask Bryan about
that.

Monday hehe slept until…2 then EEE reunited with my old friends. The
old four of us once again- Lena ❤ Sarah ❤ Callie ❤ Lauren.
Aw, just like old times. Childhood friends. It certainly was different
though. We’ve all gone seperate ways and we’ll never again have…what
we had. But it was good to be back there. That house holds so many old
memories for me. More than this house does. We had a gingerbread
partay…woot. Mine collapsed and then I broke Sarah’s “accidentally”
by “accidentally” throwing her roof at it. Hehe. Mine became a
beautiful piece of….sculpture….instead. Sarah and I
then…Well…That’s for another day. *Sigh*.

I’ve only been awake for 3 hours…Yea….I woke up at 3…I guess I’ve
caught up with all that sleep I missed by now. I watched Big Fish
today….AH! My favorite movie. ❤ Ewan McGreggor. EEK! And I was
sick. *Cough sneeze*. But that’s ok…I now have to go see The Series
again with…the monster…Yea. Don’t ask me how I get roped into these
things. Maybe a part of me really wants to see him. Maybe that’s sick.
I don’t know anymore. Bryan’s a good brother for going with me. So we
should be going soon. My, how my world has changed.

Wish me luck.

I got Mat’s present in the mail and I love her to death so much I could
eat her. AAAAH! She’s amazing. I LOVE YOU. I cut out her address and
posted it on my board. And I nearly flipped a shit when I saw her
handwriting. It’s been so long. Can you believe? It’s been 7 months
since we saw each other last. Far too long. Since she left, my world
has been flipped inside out and swallowed whole. I blame Mat.

Anyway…Times have changed. Christmas is over. And soon I’ll be back
in a desk. This deserves a hearty Bah Humbug. Well then…Au Revoir.
(That’s for you mat…use a translator)

And now for something completely different: (heh)

“I want so badly to believe that “there is truth, that love is real”
And I want life in every word to the extent that it’s absurd
I know you’re wise beyond your years, but do you ever get the fear
That
your perfect verse is just a lie you tell yourself to help you get by?”
– Clark Gable, The Postal Service (beasts…sooo my song)

That was one. crazy. night. Holy fuck that was sooooo much fun. And omg
like…wow…that was the most unexpected thing of my LIFE. wow. my mom
will neverrrrr find out about this little shinanigan.

hehe

I went to amy’s house for a party and then i was gonna sleep over…and
then allegra and campbell were there…and HAHA….SOMEHOW….we got
them to stay too…and we stayed up ALLLLL NIGHT….i have not slept
since yesterday. HOTNESS! omg…just wow. We watched like EVERY bad
movie known to man…Bad Boys 2, Duplex, Anger Management, Bulletproof
Monk (wow.), hahaha 3 Ninjas Kick Back, Home Alone 3, wow…and then
Pimp my Ride, Recess, Clueless, Nick and Jessica’s family wedding, and
more. It was insane. INSANE. O baby. Craziest night of my life

ill finish this later

Need to go die. now

*collapses*

That was one. crazy. night. Holy fuck that was sooooo much fun. And omg
like…wow…that was the most unexpected thing of my LIFE. wow. my mom
will neverrrrr find out about this little shinanigan.

hehe

I went to amy’s house for a party and then i was gonna sleep over…and
then allegra and campbell were there…and HAHA….SOMEHOW….we got
them to stay too…and we stayed up ALLLLL NIGHT….i have not slept
since yesterday. HOTNESS! omg…just wow. We watched like EVERY bad
movie known to man…Bad Boys 2, Duplex, Anger Management, Bulletproof
Monk (wow.), hahaha 3 Ninjas Kick Back, Home Alone 3, wow…and then
Pimp my Ride, Recess, Clueless, Nick and Jessica’s family wedding, and
more. It was insane. INSANE. O baby. Craziest night of my life

ill finish this later

Need to go die. now

*collapses*

Hey my laddies…just got all my christmas shopping done in an hour…i
know, shocking right? I mean it’s not like Lauren has EVERRRR
procrastinated before…and waiting to get all the presents the day
before Christmas eve is a horrendous thing to do in my
mind…*gigglesnort*…I got some hot presents…and on the chance that
Bry reads this…I won’t say what…MWA HA HAAAA

Anyway…Nothing toooo new has happened…We prolly won’t be able to go
down to VA after christmas *sob*…but I’d realllllly like it if they
came up hurrr…Oh well…Things are AWFUL depressing up here..so much
crying! when will it stop already!!!! god.

I think I’m gonna party it up tonight…woot…Amy’s a sexy beast. I
was supposed to go to the movies with Sar buttt….im a loser like
that…

Ok…I’m gonna go be a loser now…and I in no way shape or form have a
new xanga…but…uh…YOU ALL HAVE TO JOIN THE BOILER ROOM
BLOGRING!!!! NOWWWW or suffer…http://www.xanga.com/groups/group.aspx?id=794288…NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

GOT IT BITCHES! LET’S GO! NOW NOW NOW! INNN!

ok…that was getting a little weird…I’m gonna go now…

Chapter Nine status: 13 pages and growing…GROWING!
Estimated Finish: Ur mom…no…I’d definately say…by the end of Christmas break…hey, if JK can do it…Ren can do it…

SPICE AWAY!